Save Me From the Nothing I've Become
by Just Mosie
Summary: He sighed, knowing full well what to expect. He knew once he arrived at the scene of the crime, he would see nothing but blood, a lifeless body, and remembrances of that now deceased woman. Summer Secret Santa Gift for Lizzybeth!
1. Prologue

**This is a Summer Secret Santa gift for Lizzybeth! Happy Summer!**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own The Mentalist**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Prologue~ **

Lacey Wall stumbled up her apartment steps, nervously glancing over her shoulder. She still felt them, the eyes staring at the back of her head that she had felt watching her since she left the local school she taught at. She had stayed at work longer than expected, marking papers and knowing full well that her husband was away on a business trip in D.C., therefore she was not in any type of rush to return home.

Her initial plans upon coming home were to curl up on her sofa, a glass of wine in hand, and with the new novel she had picked up at Barnes & Noble earlier that week. Now she wanted to call her husband, or the local police as the eerie feeling continued to cause the hairs residing on the back of her neck to rise.

Seeing nothing behind her again, she shakily turned back and stuck the keys in the door's lock, flicking her wrist to the right to open the lock. With her breath caught in her throat, she pushed the door open and barely stumbled inside, hands quickly clasping on tightly to the wooden door as she shut it closed. Lacey stumbled back a few steps, one hand reaching up and clasping onto her chest as she tried to even out her breathing. Shutting her eyes, she tried to tell herself that no one was watching her, no one had followed her. Reopening her eyes, she gazed held entirely on the wooden door before her. Lacey's breathing hitched as she slowly began to turn, moving herself away from the door to head in the direction of her kitchen.

Despite the rising feeling that something bad was to happen, Lacey kept on with her usual nightly routine. She had gone into her kitchen and put a kettle on the stove, turning the dial up to begin the rapid boil. The kettle had screeched moments after she had ventured to her table in the middle of the room, sorting through the mail she had received earlier that day. She picked up the kettle, pouring it into a small cup and hooked her finger around the string holding the tea bag. Slowly she moved it up and down, subconsciously smiling at the normality of her routine. Setting the kettle down, she lifted the cup up just below her nose, inhaling the wonderful smell of fresh tea. It smelled wonderful and the heat felt marvelous, it would feel even more so if it were cold outside.

Lacey spent the next two hours sticking to her usual schedule while her husband was out of town. Drinking the tea, curling up by the arm of her sofa and reading her novel. Thirty minutes after settling down, she picked up her phone from the cradle and dialed her husband's number. She happily spoke to him for almost fifteen minutes before she excused herself to take a bath and get ready for bed. The woman felt at total peace as she felt her tense muscles begin to relax while she lay inside the warm water. She had fallen asleep only to wake up from the cooler water temperature. She had sat herself up and reached across towards the counter to pick up her watch. It was late, getting closer to midnight and she felt herself slowly returning to her drowsy state.

Quickly drying herself off with her towel, she pulled on the soft nightclothes that were rested on the toilet's tank. Sitting down, she began to lightly apply some lotion to her dry legs. She hummed peacefully, slipping her eyes shut as the thoughts of someone following her stayed in the very back of her mind. She paused, her humming ceased as her eyes opened and she blinked as her eyes gazed around the room. Lacey suddenly heard something fall in the kitchen.

A pan?

Bracing herself on the counter, she pushed herself upwards, standing up on the balls of her feet as she began to creep towards the door. Cautiously, she opened the door and poked her head out, eyes dancing around the darkened hallway. Hadn't she left that on? She always left that on. Always. Pushing the door even farther open, she moved through it, one hand never leaving its frame. She felt her breathing become heavy when her heart began to beat faster in her chest. Her finger tips barely brushed against the wall as the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She turned the corner, feet hitting the cold tile floor of her living room. Her breath caught in her throat noticing that she saw no one in her field of vision. Lacey still heard the blood moving in her ears as she slowly allowed herself to begin the process of calming down.

Just as she was to breathe a sigh of relief, she felt a large hand encase itself around her neck. She gasped, eyes opening wide with shock. Her hands flew upwards, clasping around her attacker's iron-tight held hand.

"Sssh, don't be afraid," her eyes widened at the sound of the voice. She had never heard it before, yet it still made feel the need to beg for her life and to tell the intruder where all the emergency money she and her husband kept in the home, "I just need a favour."

"W-what do you want?" her voice quivered, her eyes turning to look at the man keeping hold of her, "What do you w-want with m-me?" her breath hitched in her throat as she struggled when his hold grew tighter.

The intruder leaned in closer, "I want you to tell Patrick Jane this: The time is near."

He let go of her, just like that. She almost fell back, her hand reaching up to cup her now aching throat. Her eyes moved upwards, seeing a dark figure before her pull something out of their coat. Her eyes widened as she slowly moved her hand from her neck. Lacey stepped back, not knowing what to do. She saw a quick glint of a knife? She was not sure, but she's seen CSI and usually when you would see a glint of something, it would mean your life would probably end very soon. She extended a hand outward, shaking her head as she tried to protest her coming fate.

The dark figure paused, watching her quivering body. He laughed, knowing well enough that she felt only fear. Lacey turned, she began her run towards her bedroom so she could lock it, pull out her phone, and dial 9-1-1. The man grasped onto her hand, right before she could reach the door knob. She tried to scream out, but a black glove was placed over her mouth. She was roughly pulled into him as he held up the knife, her eyes widened with fear as she began to struggle, trying to capture a hold on his hands to prevent him from stabbing her torso.

The man was too strong; he shifted his grip and brought the knife to come down on her forearm, effectively cutting into her flesh, but not deeply. She recoiled, allowing him to bring the knife down on her abdomen. Her eyes opened wide with shock as the blade penetrated her skin deeply. He pulled the knife out, letting her feel excruciating pain all throughout her body. One of her hands moved down to her abdomen, feeling around for the blood seeping through her clothes. The man laughed again, bringing the knife down and stabbing her once more, close to the previous wound. She screamed against his hand, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as the pain slowly began to grow and grow until it became unbearable. He pulled it out again, then pushed the knife back down. Her muffled screams continued, mixing together with quieted sobs. He pushed her back, letting her land hard on the carpeted floor. Her eyes fluttered as her fingers twitched. The man leaned down, putting his mouth close to her ear.

"Remember to tell Patrick Jane what I said," her breath hitched in her throat as she tried to cover her bleeding wounds, "Or else I will come back," he patted the side of her cheek, almost affectionately. He slid his finger down, letting it dance across her lip. It quivered underneath his touch.

She heard a slight rustle of fabric and then the feeling of something warm and sticky against her throat. She gulped, breathing deeply. The man pressed down, the blade barely cutting the skin on her throat. Her eyes slipped shut, her mind telling her that she wanted nothing more than to finally die. The man laughed, pulling himself up and then reaching into his jacket. She heard a loud thud as something landed right next to her hand. She was too afraid to open her eyes and look at what was right next to her.

The last feelings Lacey felt that evening were the man's hands touching her abdomen, almost like they were gathering up her blood and a heavy sensation quickly overtaking her body.

**I know, no team or character's, but this is just the _prologue._ I promise, the team makes an appearance in the first chapter. **


	2. Barely Alive

**Thank you to those who subscribed already (I figured with the prologue having none of the main characters, I shall put up chapter 1)**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own The Mentalist. Even if I were given a Magical Genie I highly doubt he would grant my wish :P**

**This a Gift for Lizzybeth! Happy Summer!**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Barely Alive~ **

The Monday morning of the seventeenth of August seemed normal to just anyone. Patrick Jane had sat up on the sofa, hair messy and bed-ridden at about four in the morning. Subconsciously he had rubbed his eyes and felt the dryness in the back of his throat as he began to mentally chastise himself for staying over in the CBI bullpen overnight once more. For this month he had rented a hotel not far from the building and not once has he spent a night so far. He will admit that he tried on the first night, but he wound up staying on his favourite sofa and spent the first weekend of that month in his Malibu house.

Rubbing his eyes once more, he stood to his feet and moved through the bullpen, his stomach growling to remind him of its emptiness. Without much hesitation, he found his way into the kitchenette and made a beeline towards the refrigerator. He grasped onto the handle and pulled it open, sticking one hand in to shuffle its contents in hopes to find leftover food. Well, there really wasn't much in there except maybe the mouldy sandwich here and there and the left over, mostly eaten, salad. Wrinkling his nose in slight disgust, he pulled away from the refrigerator and carefully shut it, knowing full well that in the upper cupboards lie nice fixings for a cup of tea. That is if Lisbon has not drunk it after her little 'tea craze' when the coffee ran out a couple of days ago.

Bingo.

His face lit up at the full, still wrapped container of tea resting on the upper shelf inside the cupboard. He had not purchased it, but something told him the petite agent decided to take it into consideration that his tea supply may be running low due to her constant need for hot beverages. Smiling softly, he opened the package and pulled out a little teabag to set on the counter beside him. It would only take a few moments before the kettle would emit a loud screeching sound after he had placed it on its place in the stove, signalling to him that it had indeed been thoroughly boiled and ready to be poured inside a small porcelain cup after he had already put in the milk. The simplicity of the moment was enough to make a small smile continue to appear across his features, effectively defining the laugh lines around his eyes.

Bobbing the tea bag up and down inside the cup, he continued to walk back towards the bullpen. He suddenly began to feel drowsy once more, the heat of the tea started to lull him to sleep in an almost peaceful way. Jane sat down on his sofa as he lifted the cup to his lips, taking a small sip and feeling content, he turned and set it aside, bringing one hand down to rest the palm of his hand on his thigh. His body turned, lying out on the sofa as he brought his hands to interlace with each other on his abdomen. He shut his eyes, almost humming.

That is, until he heard light footsteps coming around the corner.

The footsteps were small, organised and very much Lisbon. He slightly peaked open one eye and glanced in the general direction, seeing her coming through, he quickly shut his eyes once more, pretending to be asleep.

He heard her stop and there was a period of time when there was complete silence. He was about to re-open one of his eyes when he finally heard her speak, "Jane? What are you doing here?" truth to be told, Jane knew Lisbon had seen him around this time of night. It was not exactly a new thing to either of them. He knew it bothered her though, replacing any type of anger she had previously had for him when he had riled up a suspect with a slight uncomfortable feeling of sorrow.

"Hm?" he opened his eyes as he turned his head in her general direction, "Oh, hey Lisbon, good morning," he spoke, not bothering to sit up, "Why here so early?"

She eyed him carefully, almost like she was testing the waters before she eventually blinked, "We have a case, looks like Red John."

He sighed, knowing full well what to expect. He knew once he arrived at the scene of the crime, he would see nothing but blood, a lifeless body, remembrances of what the now deceased woman was, and a haunting bloody smiley face painted on the wall for everyone to see. It always happened like that, even with his wife and child, except that time Red John had made a 'special' exception for him and made things personal. Now this all too 'thrilling' game was becoming old, faster and faster.

"But there's one thing different about the case, Jane."

"And what is that?" he looked up at the dark-haired agent, knowing his tone may have bothered her with its mocking whimsical tone.

She sighed, "The victim is still alive."

* * *

There was definitely something different about this whole case. Anyone who would have looked into previous case files would have noticed. To Jane this was a message, Red John _wanted_ him to get some sort of message, if not then the woman would have died. Now Lacey Wall was currently in critical condition at the Sutter General Hospital, being treated for multiple stab wounds and severe blood loss.

When Jane had entered her home and walked into the dark corridor, he almost stopped breathing. Blood was everywhere, pooling around the floor and splattered against the wall in a masochist artistic way. There were three bloody handprints from where Lacey had tried to move, get out of her own blood. A single cell phone lay on the floor, coated in dried blood. He shut his eyes, trying not to imagine the young woman grasping for her life, reaching for the phone to call for her own saviour. Jane wanted her to live, not only to get a better idea on what Red John might have looked like, pushing him further into his main goal in life, but to also keep her husband sane. They were a young couple and no one needed to die so young.

"This looks like the real deal," Jane opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder, spotting Cho stepping over a puddle of blood as Rigsby next entered his field of vision.

"Yeah," the larger agent spoke, "What's your take Jane? Think this is actually Red John or someone else's doing?" he placed his hands on his hips and squared his shoulders. One finger drummed nervously against his hip as he looked at the bloody handprints.

Jane nodded, "Yes, this looks like Red John. He wanted me to know something and I can't see it. He _wanted_ Lacey Wall to live, that's why he gave her her cell phone to call for help," he watched the other agent's eyes scan around the room, "He's trying to say something, I just do not know what," he brought his knuckle underneath his chin as he kept his eyes to survey the room. He could stand there for hours, just looking around and trying to figure out the new lead. He would ignore everything around him, almost like time would stop all around him. Jane would ignore the worried glances and murmurs of the team if it meant one step closer to Red John.

He stood there, just watching the bloody puddles. Cho had left only a few moments ago, claiming that he needed to make a phone call out front. Rigsby remained for about a minute afterwards, leaving as well saying he wanted to ask an officer outside about any signs of forced entry. So far they found nothing, but people were still surveying the premises carefully just in case.

"Jane?" he looked over his shoulder, moving his hand away from underneath his chin, "You okay?" Lisbon was behind him, confusion and worry was written all over her features. He knew she has remembered every moment in every case with Red John involved. She _knew_ what it did to him.

He nodded, "Yes Lisbon, thank you," his voice remained stable, monotone. He turned back, shifting his eyes back towards the drying puddles, "He left her alive to tell me something…"

"Yes, but right now Lacey Wall is in critical condition and there are doubts of whether or not she will survive," Jane turned back to look at her, almost feeling betrayed by what she had told him. Lacey _had to live_. It was important, it was also his key to Red John. Not _just _a key, actually, more like an opening. He could feel that the end was near, he could almost taste it.

The idea of catching Red John after all these years made the hairs on the back of his neck rise in anticipation. Looking down at his worn boots, he flexed his fingers against the fabric of his pants before looking back up to return Lisbon's intense gaze.

"She will live."

"Jane, be reasonable, we do not know if she will or not."

"She will live."

"Jane…" she did not say anything after that, he knew that she realised that she would be unable to win this argument. She would just get angry with him as will he. At the moment he did not need to make her angry with him. He needed her right now, in a way he felt guilty with the way he needed her, as in keeping him in the loop about Red John until the man was killed under his own hand.

"Uh, what hospital is she at again?" he wanted to change the topic, again realising that neither person would be able to win the argument. He just hoped she would understand that as well.

"Sutter General, around 29th street I think," she reached up, brushing the bangs farther past her eyes before she brought it back down, emphasising every word she was saying with her right hand when he began to move past her, "Please cooperate with the medical personnel, I do not want to receive any calls."

* * *

Jane had absolutely no great desire to be 'uncooperative' towards the medical personnel despite his great hatred towards them. Not when said medical personnel were currently keeping his only link to Red John alive. Right now he wanted them to do their jobs and do them correctly. If Lacey were to die then he did not know what he would do, he wondered what the doctors would say. He actually did know what they would say, something about how there was a large amount of damage done to her lower torso during the stabbing and she lost a lot of blood. It would go somewhat like that and he did not want that. Actually, if she were to die, he wanted her husband beside her holding onto his hand. Jane knew it sounded cheesy, but if his wife were to have lived a couple more hours, he would have wanted to be there for her as she died. He wanted this younger man to say his final farewell to the woman he loved most.

But until then, Jane found himself sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair, watching the pale woman before him. Her chest moved up and down steadily, machines slowly beeped around her signalling her life was still very much there. The small little drips from the IV fell, almost distracting him in a very hypnotic way. Jane had not spoken to a doctor or nurse, only the security guard. They exchanged a bit of information about the crime scene, then about Lacey. Lacey currently had a strong heartbeat, so it was a start; it gave him hope that she could wake soon, remembering any words that Red John had spoken to her that night.

So far he had been sitting there for almost four hours, not once leaving her side. He knew he was going to have to leave soon, his bladder was practically screaming at him and the uncomfortable feelings in his stomach informing him of its emptiness had him sucking in his belly in hopes to soften the grumblings. They failed to work, making his stomach feel even more empty. That was when he decided he would momentarily leave to go down to the hospital's cafeteria, stopping for a few moments to use the facilities before eventually making it to the ground floor.

Gripping the edges of the chair, he pushed himself up and headed towards the door. For a split second he looked over his shoulder at the pale body lying on the bed. Her chest continued to move and her eyelids twitched. She had been doing that for the past two hours, again seeing that as a good sign he stayed there hoping she would be awake, but he was not lucky. Now he had to answer his call to nature and leave the room for maybe twenty-five to thirty minutes.

**Review?**


	3. Come With Me

**Happy Summer Lizzybeth! :)**

**Thanks to the people who, read, subscribed, and favourited so far! Thank you to the anonymous reviewers becciehill and allanon9!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist. I promise.**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Come With Me~**

Jane rounded the corner, his hands in his jacket pockets as he looked over his shoulder towards the nurse station. Something was telling him that he would not be welcomed with open arms when he were to walk back into Lacey's room. He did come back after leaving for the first time, but only three hours after that he found himself leaving once more and towards the CBI building.

Grace had called him, asking him to come in to observe an interrogation with one of the neighbours. The neighbour, Missy Sowers, had a copy of the victim's key. She claimed not having broken in, and Jane found that out to be true. Sadly Lisbon did not agree with that fully as Missy had no alibi.

"_Tell me again where you were Friday night?" Jane's eyes shifted to the red-headed agent, who was now leaning against the table, her hands clasped together._

_Missy paused, her blue eyes nervously shifting around the room, "I was at home, watching TV,' she shifted again uncomfortably, almost reaching up to run her hand through her curly brown hair, "Then I listened to my iPod for awhile."_

"_Can anyone verify that?"_

_She shook her head, "No, I-I'm sorry."_

Jane had felt a bit of pity towards the young woman. She looked no older than twenty-three and definitely had only heard about Red John once or twice in the media. She really could not have anything to do with the murder as she was ignorant of the serial killer's methods. It also helped that she practically had 'Innocent' stamped across her forehead to him. He just wished the others were not so benighted towards the subject.

"_We should let her go."_

"_Should? Oh so you're not giving me orders on what I need to do with my team anymore?" Lisbon's tone was very sarcastic and quite bitter. He would admit that it did pain him to hear the malice in her voice. Jane knew very well ever since Bosco's death and her own near-death experience last year that she now goes fast and hard towards the Red John cases. His only problem was that she often became too abrupt to suspect someone and not listen to him, her consultant, or she would remain on a single person for too long of a period of time, thus giving the serial killer more time to evade them once more._

"_She did not do it, nor did she let him in."_

_Lisbon shrugged her shoulder, "So how do you know?" she paused, bringing her brows closer together, "You weren't there, Jane, remember that," she put her hands in her pockets, head turning back to look through the one-sided glass at Grace, who was now straightening up a few files into a clean pile as Missy continued to shift uncomfortably, her eyes moving around the room._

"_I have a feeling…"_

"_Oh, you have a feeling!"_

"_Lisbon…"_

"_**No Jane**__, not until we dismiss all possibilities," she was about to turn and leave the room, "We can't just let her go back out there just in case she has any information on Red John, I thought you of all people would want to talk to her."_

"_She __**doesn't know anything**__," he stepped closer to the petite agent, almost wanting to grab onto the door to keep her from leaving the room, "All she knows is that Lacey Wall is lying in a hospital bed in critical condition," he almost added 'because of a sadistic serial killer still roaming around California' but he refrained from doing so, "I'm telling you that you are wasting your time with her."_

_Lisbon did not say anything, she just turned and opened the door, stepping through and most likely heading back to her office. He stood there, staring at the door for a few moments, his head slightly throbbing. Without turning back to look past the one-sided glass, he left the room to head out towards his prize Citroën. He wanted to drive around, get some fresh air. Eventually he would like to make his way towards Sutter General._

"We're doing all we can, Mr. Wall," Jane stopped in his tracks, eyes moving around another corridor. Groaning, he pulled himself back, wondering what he should do now.

Lisbon stood with Lacey Wall's husband, who apparently just got in an hour earlier from the east coast. Sighing to himself, he gazed back around, studying the tall, unshaven man before Lisbon. He was sad, tired, hungry, and most of all: angry.

"You catch who did this, you hear me," it wasn't a question or a request, but a demand. His tone sent a slight shiver down Jane's spine; the anger floating around the room was not in the least bit subtle.

The petite agent nodded, "Like I said, Mr. Wall, we're doing all we can."

"Doesn't look like it if you're here," the man crossed his arms over his chest, pure outrage written over his features.

"I'm just looking for my consultant," Jane's blood froze. She was looking for him? Why would she be looking for him, it's not like he's getting himself in trouble right now, he's just manoeuvring around the long corridors of the hospital in attempts to find his only link to the sadistic serial killer that changed the course of his life forever.

The man still looked outraged and annoyed. Jane was a bit afraid that he might show a bit of violence towards Lisbon, so he stepped around the corner, still not making himself visible to Lisbon, only to Mr. Wall who had no idea what he looked like. At the moment he was quite glad about that too.

"So if you excuse me," he heard her say that before he noticed her turning around. He paused, knowing that when she turned around she saw him before her, "Jane?" she paused, "Where have you been?" glancing over her shoulder as Mr. Wall stopped in the door to look over at them.

"I took a drive," he said with a simple shrug of his shoulders, "It was very relaxing."

She took hold of his arm, pulling him away from Mr. Wall. His eyes opened wide; a bit surprised that Lisbon would do such an action in public no less. Actually, he was not just a 'bit surprised' but also quite a lot.

She did not loosen her grip on him until they were completely behind the corner, out of Mr. Wall's line of sight, "We've been looking for you."

"Anything new?"

She shook her head, "Yes, we got a call from the hospital," Jane shut his eyes for a moment, slightly cursing himself for not giving the medical personnel his number in case there was any change, "They said she woke up for about a minute before falling back asleep. She said something."

"What did she say?"

"Your name."

He looked over Lisbon's shoulder, not really focusing on anything in particular, "He wanted to send me a message."

"You think?"

He nodded, his gaze shifting back towards Lisbon's, "Yes, did the hospital hear anything else that she said?"

She shook her head, "No, she lost consciousness after saying your name," there was a moment when no one said anything. Jane stood there, thinking about what to say next or what to even _do_. He could easily tell Lisbon was thinking about a few things herself, "Come on, Jane, I'll take you home," Jane looked up at the weary petite agent, not knowing about how to reply to what she said, "You can take my sofa for the night," she gestured again, this time cocking her head to the side to motion towards the elevators. She seemed very open to bringing him home with her, he would have at least thought she would only invite him over if he were dangerously ill or injured.

Without any protests, he found himself following her towards the elevators. An invitation to her apartment still felt strange, it was a very rare occurrence. The first (and second if you count it) time was when he hypnotised her to discover her innocence in the McTeir case. The second or third was when he came in to give her her Christmas present last year, as he had left it to the last minute to pick up that special customised picture frame with the entire team on display.

Now this was a whole different situation, she was inviting him to stay on her sofa for the night. He was sure that it was possibly more if he understood her tone of voice. To him, staying there for a longer period of time actually sounded like it would feel kind of nice.

* * *

"The bathroom is upstairs, if you still remember," Lisbon looked over at him as she unlocked her front door, "Thai good for you?" his eyes moved towards her before fully registering what she had said.

Thai Food = Dinner

He nodded, "Sounds good," she pushed the door open, balling her keys up in her hands as she moved to the side to let him come into the room.

Jane barely breezed past her, feeling relieved once the air conditioner moved full force into his face. Shutting his eyes he found himself breathing in and out. He opened his eyes to see everything still in the same place as it was in last year. His head barely turned to the side as Lisbon's keys hit the wood table behind him.

"I'll go change my clothes and then I'll order," she moved past him, heading towards the stair case towards the far end of the room. He looked up when he heard the sound of her climbing upwards, her feet barely hitting a loose bit of wood beneath the carpet.

"Okay," he placed his hands in his pockets as he began to move towards a shelf unit. The music was all still there, probably in the same exact places as they were the last time. There was just a fresh coating of dust covering the plastic cases, that was the only difference in contrast to last time.

He grew bored of staring at her CD collection, as he did the exact same thing last time. Swaying his hands inside his jacket pockets, he moved towards another shelf unit stowed away in the corner of the room. Crouching down lower, he looked at a shelf that was most likely designed to stay hidden. Removing one hand from his pockets, his finger moved up to barely brush against a leather book. The book most likely held many precious family moments of the Lisbon family. Probably before the death of Lisbon's mother, as everything had gone downhill after that.

Jane's head jerked upwards at the sound of a drawer slamming closed upstairs. He smiled softly to himself, actually missing those sounds he had heard back when his family was alive. It just felt nice; he had really no other way to describe it.

He ended his little 'search' of Lisbon's living room and moved to sit down on the sofa, leaning back into the cushions. He looked around the room, studying it carefully. There were still boxes pressed up against the wall, probably from former homes in her past or just in case she planned to move again. One thing Jane knew about Lisbon was that she never really settled down in one place for a long amount of time, other than her job.

But she really was not content with her life.

Lisbon may enjoy doing her job, as she does it well, but she always seems to be missing something. She was happiest working, but she never had time to fulfil that missing puzzle piece in her life. Jane knew what she currently desired the most, it was someone to love her as much as she deserves.

He pressed deeper into the sofa cushions, bringing his knuckles to rest underneath his chin. To anyone he was staring at just nothing, yet a look of deep thought was evidently present on his features. His idea of happiness and contentment was catching Red John and giving the killer what he deserves the most: Death. After that he already knew what would come of him, he would spend the rest of his life in a six by eight foot prison cell. But at least Red John would be gone.

A slight creaking noise brought his hand out from under his chin. His eyes flickered up towards the stair case, landing on the petite agent already halfway down. She smiled softly at him as she continued her descent until her feet hit the solid ground below her.

"I ordered you the pork stir-fry."

He nodded, "What did you get for yourself?"

He already knew what she had gotten, she got it almost all the time while they were at the CBI headquarters, "Chicken stir-fry, as usual," she simply shrugged her jersey-covered shoulders as she made her way to the kitchen, "Would you like a glass of wine?" he heard her open up a cupboard behind him before closing it again. She opened another, then he heard two glasses clank together as they touched each other.

"Sure," he stood up, rubbing his hands together, "Why don't I pay for the food, it's the least I could do," she nodded pulling out an almost empty bottle of red wine. He watched her twist the cork off, a slight popping noise emitting from it as she pulled it.

He watched Lisbon intently as she poured one single glass half-full with wine, then the other right next to it. She placed the bottle on the counter and picked up both glasses with her hands, "Sure, you can pay for it," he chuckled slightly, expecting that from her, "I paid for it last time."

"But I got you a coffee a few days ago," she rolled her eyes as she extended a hand, he smiled at her, grasping the glass in his hand, "So really you should be paying for this, but as I'm being the good friend I decided to purchase our dinner."

"Whatever," she shook her head, moving to sit down on the sofa. She brought the wine glass to her lips to take a small sip before pulling it back to rest the corner of her neck on the crook of her elbow.

Jane sat down on the other side of the sofa, settling by the arm. He took one more glance at Lisbon as she brought the glass to her lips again. She pulled back and rested the glass against her chest. Slightly she drummed her fingers against it, she was obviously debating something over in her head. She reached forward, her hand picking up the hard plastic remote. She hit a single button and the picture came up on the television across the room. Lisbon settled back against the cushions, snuggling deeper into its comfort. Jane heard her sigh softly as she changed the channel to her Tivo, putting on an episode of House.

Jane did not really see why anyone liked a cranky doctor that obviously hated seeing his patients.

It would be about another thirty minutes before their food was to arrive and right now, House actually seemed like it was a good idea at the moment. So he settled against the cushions and watched along with her, knowing she was more than happy to continue her 'quest' on to catch up on her Tivo.

* * *

After they had eaten their food, they continued to watch what remained on Lisbon's Tivo. After awhile Jane did not really find her shows interesting at all anymore and actually hoped that Lisbon would grow tired of watching television and realise that she was very much fatigued. His wish came true a few minutes after he thought of that, he had looked over one time to notice her eyes growing droopy as she struggled to stay awake. When he heard shallow breathing, then he knew she was finally asleep.

Jane reached across the coffee table in front of him for the remote to turn off the television, he did not count on the ends of his sleeves catching onto the rim of the wine glass. His body reacted knowing that something was in the process of falling over. His other hand reached out to attempt to catch it as his right tried to steady it. Instead it completely knocked over Lisbon's glass when he caught his own. Lisbon's glass hit the cream carpet, the red wine spreading out across below him. His eyes widened, watching as the carpet began to absorb the red liquid.

"Jane?" Lisbon jerked awake, slightly discombobulated at the sudden action of waking up, "What happened?" he looked down, her drowsy eyes immediately following his, "Oh God."

What she saw was blood-like liquid seeping into her once-pristine carpet. Her eyes then travelled up to look at Jane, she studied him, watching as emotions moved across his features. He wrinkled up his face in disgust, pulling away slightly as he picked up the glass to set down on the table.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, looking up at her.

She shook her head, "It's fine, just pay for the carpet cleaner," he nodded at her. Getting up from her position on the sofa she headed towards the kitchen, too tired to even attempt running. She grasped onto a roll of paper towels, pulling them off and then heading back to the stain. Lisbon knelt down, softly blotting up the wine, "I'm going to bed, there's a blanket right over there," she pointed towards the hand-made blanket strewn over the side of the sofa, "And a pillow should be back there," she motioned to behind the heavy piece of furniture.

She stood up, brushing her hands together and then wiping them onto her jersey, "Good night, Lisbon."

"'Night Jane," she said tiredly, turning to head back to the kitchen to throw out the towels before shutting off the lights. Not once looking back, she moved up the stair case to her bedroom, no doubt to finish her process of getting ready for the rest of the night.

Smiling softly, he reclined against the sofa, pushing his fingers together and clasping them behind his head. He sighed, shifting to get more comfortable before settling in completely. Softly shutting his eyes, he noticed the smell of wine was still present in the air.

He still recalled that the wine spread and seeped into the fabric, just as his wife's blood had embedded itself into the duvet on top of their bed. He scrunched his eyes up, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and tried to breathe out a sigh to tell himself that it was all okay and that it was just wine. Not blood. But it still had the sight of blood, and that was enough to make him feel cold and his heart to nearly stop.

Jane pushed himself up, heading towards Lisbon's kitchen. He would at least put more effort into cleaning it up than she had earlier. Without switching the lights on, he tore a sheet of paper towel off its holder and turned the faucet on, waiting until it became warm to let it dampen it. He pulled it back, squeezing the extra moisture of to keep it remaining only damp. Hurriedly he moved back into the living room, kneeling down before it he brought the paper towel to the cream carpet and began to rub it furiously. His only goal right now was to get it out of the carpet, not just allow it to fade, like that smiley face covering his bedroom wall in his Malibu home.

He rubbed it even when he felt his arm grow tired, but he still did not stop. The paper began to weaken, little bits coming off and balling up on top of the carpet. He felt his hands now begin to move against the carpet, barely any paper towel remaining. His movements stilled and he just watched the space before him, staring at the slightly paler stain. Jane leaned back, standing up on his knees. His hands rested on his thighs, one hand clutching the remainder of the paper towel between his index finger and thumb. He sighed heavily, dropping his head into his hand and rubbing onto his temples. A small headache at the front of his skull began to form and he knew it would gradually become bigger and bigger until he would finally resort to taking an Advil for some relief.

He stood up slowly, eyes looking down at the red paper towel bits in his hand. Sighing to himself, he walked back into the kitchen, opening the lid to the trash bin, and dropping the remainder of the wad inside. He shut the top, brushing his hands off together before he turned on his heel, now functioning on autopilot.

Jane did not want to be alone that night; he wanted someone's company. Jane wanted a warm body that he could wrap his arms around and hold close, like his own personal body pillow. He knew how to get it, although she might not appreciate his close proximity. He decided he would go upstairs anyway and to see if she was awake. If she were awake then he would try to engage her into a conversation then later 'pretend' to fall asleep until she herself would fall into deep slumber. If she, and hopefully was not, then he would just move into her bed and pull her to him.

He liked his last choice the best.

Jane's hand barely brushed against the soft railing of the stair case, his feet heavily ascending. He turned his head slightly, in the direction he knew Lisbon's bedroom was in. As quiet as possible, he moved down the darkened hallway and into her room. Pushing the door open, and mentally cursing himself for the loud creaking noise of the door protesting his entrance, he stepped in quickly.

Softly he found himself standing before her bed, seeing if she were awake or asleep.

Thankfully she was asleep.

He knelt down, grabbing the end of his no-nonsense worker's boots and pulled him off his feet one by one. He set them on the corner of the bed before standing up, pulling the suit jacket off his shoulders before folding it over his forearm and laying it over his shoes. Next was his waistcoat, cautiously he undid the buttons and pushed it off his shoulders as well, just throwing it down and not even caring where it landed. The last thing he did was unbutton three buttons on his shirt, leaving it a bit more open. Jane pulled the covers back and slid into the bed, it was cold where he was coming in, but he knew it would warm eventually.

Jane's body froze when he heard her sigh and then the mattress moved. On high alert, he looked over at her, making sure she was indeed still asleep. She was, thank God. Instead she had changed her position in bed, now facing him. He turned into her, to mirror her position. He watched her for a few moments, listened to her shallow breathing. Smiling to himself, he reached up and brushed her bangs from her face and feeling her body shift again under the covers.

"Sleep well, Teresa."

He shifted his body one final time and brought his hands together underneath the pillow. He sighed comfortably; hoping the thoughts of the wine glass would reach the farthest part of his mind as he hoped for slumber to come to him soon. He wanted a long, peaceful sleep. He did not want to think about tomorrow, although he already knew Lisbon would be uncomfortable with waking up beside him, unless he woke before her that is. In some ways he doubted that would happen, as then he would have to probably explain to her why one side of the bed was unmade and there was supposedly no one in it the night before.

He would just have to wait and see until the morning.

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	4. A Clue Lost

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist. I mean Christmas is in about 6 months or so...I'll get back to you in 6 months but I'm over 100% sure I still won't own it.**

**Leighanna-Thanks cousin!**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~A Clue Lost~**

When Jane woke, he knew it was early. It was still dark outside yet birds chirped happily outside Lisbon's bedroom window. He raised his head up from the pillow, fighting back a sleepy yawn as he glanced over a shoulder to look at the digital clock on the other side. Jane had to blink a few times to let the little red number focus.

4:42 AM

Pulling back, he lied back down on the pillow. Something shifted against him and he looked down at a petite body almost cuddled to him. Her shallow breathing showed that she was still asleep, but the fact that it was she that moved took him slightly by surprise. He always knew somewhere under her tough exterior, Teresa Lisbon liked to be in the arms of a man, but he never thought she would actually cuddle into him like she was now. In a way he felt kind of honoured for her to be this close to him as she slept and he also felt a bit worried. He did not know how she would react this close to him in the morning. She would either yell, shoot, or hit him, all of which bruising to his male ego.

He froze when she shifted against him, mumbling something incoherently. When she shifted, she moved closer to his body. He wound up feeling her body heat come closer to him, hitting him almost full force. He knew soon it was all going to be too much and he did not know what he would do. Jane knew one thing though: He did not want to ruin their friendship because his body reacted the way it was designed to.

Bracing himself with one hand on the edge of the bed, he began to pull himself away from her slowly. Jane glanced over his shoulder, making sure to make note of the end table resting itself against the wall. Moving his head around to glance back at Lisbon's sleeping form, he thought now would be the best time to slide completely out of the bed.

He cringed when hearing the sheets move underneath his body as his feet hit the carpet floor beneath him. Drawing his lips to a thin line, he looked over at Lisbon's still sleeping form. Letting out a sigh of relief, happy that he had not awakened her, he began to move towards the door to head downstairs to the kitchen. He was hungry, it was breakfast time and right now he had a hankering for eggs. Eggs were in every household, right? Unless the person had some allergy to them, then they just did not have them stored in their refrigerator.

"Jane?"

Uh Oh.

Jane stilled his movements and slowly turned around to the bed.

"Yes?" he knew he was a dead man. Lisbon would kill him for even setting foot into her bedroom. Her sanctuary – Her place where _He __shouldn't__ have been_. He should have just sucked up his pride and stayed downstairs for the night instead of invading her personal space and sharing her bed. So, he tried to respond in the most 'innocent' manner of speaking.

"Where are you going?"

Okay, he had not expected that.

"To the kitchen, I'm feeling quite peckish right now," he rubbed his stomach in hopes to give a better emphasis of the hunger he was feeling, "Do you want anything special?" he watched her head shake as a 'no'.

"Maybe later, after I shower," she mumbled sleepily, moving back down on the bed, wrapping her arms around the pillow.

He really did not understand her acting like this. Seriously, she would normally either blow up on him verbally or kill him and hide the body in the river. Or she would place him into one of those shipping containers and ship him off to Mexico or…maybe Antarctica. Who knew, all he knew was that Lisbon would normally get angry in these types of situations that involved them: The awkward ones to be more specific. This situation would most likely be categorised as awkward at this very moment in time.

"All right," he turned, completely leaving the room not liking the feelings he was having. They were mostly embarrassment of all things and slight discomfort from feeling slightly sexually aroused when he had awakened. Of all the days his body had decided to act like an adolescent boy, it was the one time he slept in the same bed as a very attractive female.

* * *

Jane set the omelette down on the wooden table by the door. It was really nothing special – just some bacon bits and cheese thrown into the egg on the stove. It all worked out nicely and it made his mouth practically drip with hunger. He had made a second – for Lisbon – and was currently fighting the urge to eat it himself. He was not Rigsby, his stomach did have limits unlike the large agent that now had a high metabolism due to extensive exercise.

Ten minutes ago he heard the shower start, only two minutes ago did he hear it stop. Right at this very moment, everything felt strange, almost domestic. It was a feeling Jane had not felt for a long time and it was slightly scaring him. Back when his wife and child were alive, he would awaken early in the morning, make pancakes or some other tasty batch of food for the ones he held dearly to his heart. His daughter loved it; his wife appreciated it, almost loving it as much as their curly blonde haired daughter.

Smiling to himself, he remembered flipping over a single pancake before hearing the soft movement of tiny feet running into the brightly painted room in his Malibu home. She grabbed her stool up next to him and she pulled herself up, allowing her to see the makings of their breakfast. He had handed her the spatula, taking her small wrist into his hands and helped her flip each pancake until they were all well done enough for eating. After that, she had proudly told her mother that she made the pancakes with the help of daddy.

But because of his single mistake, he could never have that again.

Shaking his head to rid him of those old thoughts and memories, he stabbed a bit of the omelette with his fork and brought it to his mouth. He chewed quickly, not wanting to think back to his old family moments, knowing that they still pained him. Even more so right now, with Red John being the main reason why Lacey Wall resided in a hospital bed struggling to hold onto her life.

When Lisbon had come down, he froze slightly. He did not know what to tell her, an apology would not cut it, as they had slept in the same bed. A whole bunch of strawberries would not help either. Even if he had gotten an entire crate load.

That would be a lot of strawberries.

She had taken her omelette and sat down next to him, not pausing for another moment before she began to eat her breakfast. Jane took one glance at her before taking another bite of his meal.

"Are you going to see Lacey at all today," it was not a question because she already knew his answer.

He nodded, "I plan to," he paused, looking in her direction again, "Look, Lisbon, I'm so-."

She looked at him, still holding onto the fork in one hand, "What for?" she quirked up an eyebrow.

"We slept in the same bed."

She nodded, "Jane, we're adults, it's not like we had sex or anything," he opened his mouth, about ready to say something when she held her hand up to silence him, "I knew the wine would bring up old memories, that's why I expected you to come some time in the night. I woke up around two so I could use the bathroom to find you next to me," she placed a forkful of egg into her mouth, turning her attention back to her breakfast.

Jane instead turned around to face forward, not taking his eyes off a single place on the wall. He shifted in his seat, slightly relieved that Lisbon was not currently plotting his demise, and also a bit surprised by her reaction. Why had she not just offered her bed in the first place? He probably would have gotten more sleep last night than he had.

"Why did you not offer last night?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Well, I figured you would say some quick remark about me wanting to get you into my bed so eagerly," Slightly true, he might have made a quip about that, but surely she did not think he would always say things like that during this time. He would have much rather an actual invitation than feeling like he had invaded her personal space, "Come on, we need to get to the CBI."

Jane lie back on his leather couch, his cell phone clutched tightly into his hands. Occasionally he would turn it over, catching it again, and the turn it back upwards again. He was waiting for a call from Sutter General hoping to say that Lacey was awake and coherent enough for questioning. Jane was not sure if her husband would be open to him lurking around the room, keeping his eyes on the woman's frail body. Mr. Wall might get other ideas that would surely not be true. The last thing Jane needed was to convince a man that he was not sleeping with his wife – even if he knew it was one hundred percent correct – it would be a waste of time to fend off such accusations.

A few minutes ago Jane had heard Lisbon's phone ring. She had quickly answered it and begun talking. He had slightly perked up at the mention of 'doctor' but then slowly went back down when they started talking more and more about tedious information. He knew it was about Lacey Wall, but he could not bring himself to pay attention to what was being said. Afterwards, Lisbon had pushed herself away from the desk and walked out of her office towards the bullpen. Jane sat up, eagerly wanting to know what she was about to say – it was completely obvious that she had something to say – but then he realised it was probably not good news.

She stopped in front of his couch, looking down at him, "Jane," he gazed up at her, knowing full well that something bad had happened, "Lacey Wall just died."

No.

No no no NO!

She was _not supposed to die! _

She was supposed to live and tell him about Red John. She was going to tell him what all Red John had said to her when he assaulted her in her own apartment that night.

"The doctors say-."

"I do not care what the doctors said, what matters is that they did not do their jobs," he stood up angrily, brushing past Lisbon.

"No Jane, they did all they could to save her life, she lost too much blood and she had extensive organ damage, no one could tell whether or not Lacey Wall would live from her injuries!"

Jane whirled around at Lisbon, "No, they could have done more, and they would have done more if they saw firsthand what this monster does to people's lives," his words dripped with venom. He then turned to walk towards the elevators, now deciding to join Cho and Rigsby on their little vigil around the Wall household

"Jane, stop being so childish!"

That angered him.

He pushed himself towards her, right into the wall to corner her, "I'm being childish?" she nodded without faltering, "You try losing your family to a serial killer that just wants to play little mind games with you, then I would love to see how you act after that whenever a new opportunity arises!"

He pushed himself away from her, not wanting to be anywhere near her any longer.

When the elevator doors opened, revealing the red-head agent, Jane just pushed himself in, not even bothering to look at her. Grace looked over her shoulder knowing Jane was no doubt angry at Lisbon again, so she decided to let it be.

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	5. Attack

**Happy Summer to Lizzybeth!**

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**Disclaimer: Post ****anything **** witty here to state that I don't own The Mentalist. Be creative!**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Attack~ **

With Grace going home early as their case had just hit a dead end and the boys still not having returned to the CBI, Lisbon had called it quits.

Lisbon walked out to the parking garage, her keys in hand as she had been trained to do so. As she had been taught, you could never know if someone could leap behind another car or a pillar and attack you. Even though this may be a government building filled with agents and security, you could still never be too careful. The careless ones were the people who usually go in the most trouble – just look at Jane – The consultant is always getting bloody noses from being as to what he says to people. Especially powerful people with expensive lawyers.

Sighing to herself, she shook her head and extended her hand out, ready to click the 'unlock' button when her car came into her line of sight. Just as her finger hit the button, flashing the tail and headlights, she felt a hand cover her mouth and another wrap around her waist. Lisbon's eyes widened in shock as she brought her left elbow back, not hitting her assailant. Struggling, she reached with her other hand towards the glock she had stored away in its holster. The hand around her waist disappeared and it wrapped around her wrist, pushing it away. Her attacker had fast reflexes, she noticed, as he grabbed her glock and tossed a few feet away from her. Her eyes widened and she attempted to scream into his hand. The man wrapped his hands around her wrists, holding them together.

"Hello Teresa," her blood ran cold, her eyes opened wide, knowing exactly who it was, "I've heard a lot about you, just as you have heard a lot about me," she felt his breath tickle her ear, sending a course of shivers down her spine. The hair on the back of her neck stood up straight, on high alert just in case this man decided he would want to put an end to her life.

Then she moved, pushing herself back into his body knowing full well that there was a concrete pillar behind them. She knew it caught him off guard, as she felt his body stiffen as he tried to keep control of his body's movements. His grip tightened around her waist and he suddenly let go of her mouth. She gasped when her feet were no longer touching the ground; the man was now holding her and getting ready to push her body into the concrete pillar.

She slammed into it, feeling pain from the front of her skull radiate backwards to engulf her entire head. Lisbon groaned, opening her eyes to only see a blurry figure beside her. Hands wrapped around her neck, picking her up from her seated position and held her to the concrete. Her hand clumsily grasped onto his, the feeling of his skin no doubt rough and slightly painful against the tender flesh of her throat. She gasped, feeling the air be constricted out of her body.

A cold knife was placed at her throat, pressing in lightly. Her eyes widened, suddenly afraid that Red John might actually kill her here, at the CBI. He would do it if he wanted to send a message, and that's exactly what he has been doing for the past couple of days – wanting to send a message to Patrick Jane – she just did not expect to be another message.

"I'm not going to kill you, Teresa," the knife lifted from her neck as he reached up with the back of his knuckles, trailing them down her soft cheek, "It is not my job," she focused on him, seeing that a mask only covered half of his face. She could see the firm lips, drawn together as they stared at her.

"Why not? Why are you not going to kill me?" he smiled, his teeth perfect. It's not what she nor anyone else would expect from a sadist.

"Because, Teresa, Mister Jane will have a better chance of finding me now," she struggled against him, gasping when she felt his hand tighten around her, "Now, now, do not struggle against me, Teresa," she gasped, feeling light headed.

She kicked him. Right in the shin. He yelped, pushing her into the concrete again roughly. She cried out, feeling nothing but pain as she slowly slid down the pillar. Her body moved to a more of a lying down position as she tenderly clutched onto her throat then moving her hand to the back of her head. She felt warm blood touch her hands, making her eyes flicker up towards the retreating figure.

Then she saw her glock resting on a couple of inches from her.

Flickering her eyes back to the retreating figure, she began to reach for the glock, breathing heavily in pain as her fingers barely touched it, sending it farther back. She cried out, pushing herself farther against the concrete and scraping her hand against the rough surface. Not caring about her pain any longer, she grasped onto the glock, holding it tightly in her hand as she quickly aimed the weapon towards the retreating figure.

Lisbon saw double, two Red Johns retreating in the distance. Two rows of cars on either side of her. Shaking her head and blinking her eyes, she aimed the weapon shakily at one Red John and pulled the trigger before exhaustion overtook her. The gun recoiled as the deafening sound of a gunshot filled the entire garage around them.

Then the blackness overtook her.

* * *

Jane moved his hands into his pockets, swaying around as he examined the Wall family photos resting on the mantle. Raising one hand, he carefully brushed the picture back into the resting place it was supposed to be in. Smiling to himself, he turned to look around the room once more. It was the living room, a dark one at that. Mr. Wall had not been home for several hours – he possibly has not returned home since visiting Lacey in the hospital, as everything appeared to be untouched. This could have been part of Mr. Wall dealing with the complete newness of her death.

Cho and Rigsby had left in hopes of going to a quick little restaurant a couple of streets away for dinner. They had invited Jane along, but he opted out almost immediately. He really was not in the mood for Taco Bell, as the thought of a greasy fast food churned his stomach at the moment. Of course, Rigsby's eyes had lit up like a child on Christmas morning at the mention of the popular food chain.

So what more was there to do? Jane did not know, so he found himself moving around the Wall residence looking for any type of reason as to why Red John would target them specifically. Despite the yearning for more answers, he continued to doubt finding anything useful to the case at the moment. He just wished he could cross his fingers over his chest and practically plead into his inner conscience in high hopes of finding the monster, for any type of clue he might have missed the night his family died as he was too distraught at the time being.

Sighing to himself, he moved to sit down on the leather recliner resting near a wall corner. A slight whooshing sound came from the chair as his weight sank into it, it was a bit of a strange feeling as he had not sat in one of these in a long time. Bouncing slightly, he smiled at a fond memory of him and his daughter 'testing out' new recliners. The joyful look on her face had forever burned itself into his memory. Jane could never be able to get rid of it, even if he were to try.

Leaning back into it, he flexed his fingers against the cool leather and sighed again. Slipping his eyes shut, he breathed in and out steadily as an attempt to relax into the comfortable recliner. He hummed slightly, feeling more at ease at the moment. Nodding his head from side to side, the soft smile came across his features, yes he was comfortable.

But then, his cell phone rang.

Jane wanted to curse the evil little object. It disturbed the peace, took him away from his moment at ease. Instead of just letting it go to voicemail like the nagging little voice in the back of his head was telling him, he pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

**Kimball Cho**

Raising an eyebrow, he flipped the phone and placed it to his ear, fully expecting to hear something about being sure of his decision to not indulge in junk known as food. Junk food?

"Hey Cho," he eased more into the chair.

"_Jane, Lisbon was attacked,"_ he sat up in the chair, clutching onto the phone tighter. All right, he was not expecting that, _"She's in the hospital right now and we don't know much of her condition."_

Jane knew only one person that would try to harm his Lisbon and that would be none other than Red John. He felt himself grow sick at the sudden thought of Lisbon being hospitalised from the hand of Red John. Lisbon was most likely dying or already dead, as figured by Red John's 'track record'.

He dug his nails into the leather seat and stood up swiftly, already heading quickly towards the door.

"Cho, I'll be there as soon as I can."

* * *

He walked quickly.

Jane only stopped once to ask at the nurses' station on the whereabouts of Teresa Lisbon. They asked him: friend or family? He quickly said the word 'friend' before they told him her room number. Jane almost breathed out a sigh of relief, his heart beating rapidly inside his chest. He muttered a quick 'thank you' then headed back towards her room, his eyes set only on what was before him.

On the correct floor, he checked every room number on the walls, eyes scanning rapidly in hopes of finding the right one. No luck so far. Finally he stopped, turning to the left and seeing the correct number. Almost smiling, he reached for the door handle and pushed it in so he could move into the room. Heart beating rapidly again, he moved into the room fully, hands barely grazing onto the door as it shut behind him. Shutting his eyes softly, he quickly let out a breath and looked around the corner to see a single hospital bed lying in the middle of the room, the overhead light lit and the petite woman sitting upright in the bed twirling a spoon inside her applesauce.

"Lisbon?" her eyes snapped up at the sound of his voice, locking onto his.

He expected her to be in very bad condition, but this was…good? She was alive, breathing and contemplating whether or not to eat her applesauce before her. She had a small bandage taped onto her neck and from what he could tell, she was doing well. A bandage was also wrapped around her hand, probably the hand she used to defend against her assailant. For almost a second he considered launching fireworks off the rooftop in honour of her survival. He knew it was Red John, though. Only he had the audacity to do such harm to her and only he was smart enough to do it.

"You doing all right?"

She nodded, "Yeah," he was relieved at the sound of her voice, "Just not all that hungry at the moment," she twirled the spoon between her fingertips of her bandaged hand and grimaced when she looked down upon the 'meal'.

"Well that is understandable, the hospital is not known for the wonderful," he paused, placing his hands into his pockets to look around the room, "Entrées."

After a long amount of time, she finally nodded in agreement, setting her spoon down and then pushing the swing around table away from her body, "What do you remember about your attack?" she shrugged.

"I remember…" she paused and then frowned. A fine wrinkle came down around her forehead, "I remember my assailant in front of me with a knife."

He moved closer to her, sitting down on the foot of the bed, "Lisbon, you do not remember," his voice remained soft, not wanting to upset her. She shook her head, trying to deny her memory loss.

"O-of course I do," she said softly.

"Teresa," her eyes moved at the sound of her first name, looking into his deeply, "Please don't lie to me, I know you don't remember that Red John attacked you."

"Red John attacked me?" he raised an eyebrow, "That's odd, it's not like we're on a," she stopped herself, eyes the moving back up to Jane's, "Oh God," the colour drained from her face as she frantically searched his eyes, "Ja-Jane? Can you find a nurse?" she leaned back against the pillow, still as white as a ghost.

He nodded, already moving from the bed and towards the door. He reached down for the handle when it suddenly opened, squarely hitting him. His eyes opened in surprise when it was revealed to be a doctor.

Even better than a nurse?

The woman clad in white said a quick apology before moving away from him to enter the room fully. She laid her eyes on Lisbon and smiled sweetly, "How are we doing today, Miss Lisbon?" she picked up Lisbon's file, flipping through it softly before tucking it under her arm.

"Agent," the petite hospitalised woman said firmly as her doctor moved above her, checking her vitals, "Can you tell me what happened?"

The doctor shrugged, "Well, you received some trauma to the back of the head when trying to fend off your assailant," there was a pregnant pause, "It would be common to develop a few headaches, if so, just tell us and we will either re-scan your head or put you on some mild pain medication, depending on how much pain you are in. "

"How about memory loss?" Jane interrupted.

The doctor turned to him, "It could happen, especially in this case here. It was also a very traumatic experience so it would not be uncommon if the victim received some post-memory loss," she turned to look at Lisbon, "You really have nothing to worry about Agent Lisbon, your vitals are good."

"Well doc, she's having memory loss," this caused the woman to look at Jane, "And it would be real nice if she could get it back, so any tips on getting it back," he knew he sounded harsh, but he wanted answers on Lisbon's condition and when it would get better so she could tell him any details about the sadistic madman.

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	6. Not Anytime Soon

**I seriously got really pissed off because my dividers weren't working. So everything so far in this story seems to get crammed together so…I'm mad :( But I was able to go back and basically replace every chapter with the proper dividers so that they work now! Yay!**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Not Anytime Soon~**

The moonlight lit up her skin, tracing out the uniquely beautiful contours of her feminine body. Any hot-blooded male would stop and stare at the sleeping woman tangled in the sheets with her hair splayed out against the cotton pillowcase. For Patrick Jane, he was used to seeing the tired body of Teresa Lisbon taking up the majority of her queen-sized bed. The sight made him smile to himself, of course. He felt honoured that the usually guarded woman would indeed let him in to her own bedroom, much less her home.

So far it has been five days since Lisbon had been released from the hospital. Add another two days and then you would get how long ago Red John attacked her at the CBI headquarters. One week. The past week was enough to make Jane restless; he would not sleep during the night. He would spend the time pacing around Lisbon's bedroom, occasionally glancing at her still frame before focusing on his vengeful thoughts on Red John.

The doctors told him that she would be able to regain her memory within a few days, but she has since not. She was trying, he knew. But he also knew that hypnotism was her last method of choice. It was his top choice, but he knew even if she agreed, she would remain unwilling and tense. Then he thought back to the time she was framed for the murder she did not commit last October…almost a year ago…he had to hypnotise her to not only calm her down, but to prove her innocence to him.

But now things seemed even more at stake, including their friendship if one could so call it that. They were close, even closer than ever before. Any person looking into their relationship would quickly jump to conclusions as to that they were romantically involved with each other. Those conclusions themselves would indeed be fictitious and misguided and definitely embarrassing to the sleeping senior agent. For him, it would indeed be more of a 'meh' and not really anything big, some people at the attorney general thought they were sleeping together. As long as Lisbon did not hear about this rumour, Jane figured that everyone was safe.

Reaching up he cupped his chin, rubbing the rough stubble already growing, informing him of his need to shave. Sighing to himself, he turned to glance over his shoulder at her. He smiled softly at the simple rise and fall of her chest, knowing full well that her heart was beating well and strong inside her chest unlike so many other Red John victims. It gave him a feeling of warmth to know that she is alive and well, despite the lack of remembrance of _that night. _At times he hated himself for wanting nothing but the knowledge so much of what the sadistic man said to her and if he had left any evidence behind specifically for Jane.

Evidence.

He tapped his chin for a few moments, contemplating over a few subjects before his eyes suddenly widened.

Lisbon's glock fired after Red John, they found the casing but no signs of a bullet. What if she hit him? What if she hit the man they had been so vainly searching for all this time? If Lisbon had indeed hit the man, he would want to pick her up, twirl her in his arms and actually kiss her senseless to show his newfound appreciation for her – even though he already had a large amount – so she could know what good she does for him.

This new thought sent his heart racing inside his chest. It gave him a new sort of thrill that soon they may catch Red John and that soon he may get the revenge he had desired for such a long time. Jane felt that everything was getting so much closer, that the man he loathed would soon be discovered, found, and sought out.

Without much haste, he found himself scrambling around her bedroom in search of his clothes.

* * *

Four hours had passed and so far nothing appeared.

He would swear that he searched every nook and cranny in the parking garage to search in vain for a tiny drop of blood. Even if it were the tiniest, it would be acceptable in his opinions. Hell he himself would take a sample and bring it to the lab and have it analysed in front of him, if only he could actually find a sample. Finding it would give him an expression mimicking a small child on Christmas morning, his eyes would light up and get his infamous crazed look in his eyes that read only one thing: this was Red John related.

Standing up and brushing the palms of his hands on his grey slacks, he looked around one last time. Where had the droplets possibly gone? Surely Red John would not come back again, especially since he knew the CBI got their security cameras back up and running. No doubt he was in too much pain to really do anything at the current moment. The more he thought about Red John being shot, the more driven Jane became to finding his blood. The blood could not have possibly just disappeared and there had been no recent rain showers, so therefore, the bio-hazardous waste had to be somewhere in this parking garage.

Then a sudden thought occurred, what if he brought Lisbon back to the scene of the assault. Could it possibly help the agent regain her lost memory? Slipping his eyes shut and pulling his fingers into his palms, he muttered a brief 'prayer' if he could call it that and set off towards his beloved Citroën. If Lisbon were able to tell him _anything_ that had happened, he would be a truly happy man, well for a few moments to hours. Even if it were the scent of his body odour he would be elated. It did not matter, as long as he was able to gain new information on Red John he would have been filled with contentment.

Now seated behind the wheel, hands gripping onto the wheel tightly, he leaned back, breathing out a sigh. His head hit the rest, thumbs barely slipping on the wheel before him. The past week had been hard on everyone and at times he felt it was harder on Lisbon. The woman was rigorously trying to remember the events of that night but her mind refused to let her succeed. Yesterday, Lacey Wall's body had been buried six feet under with her grieving family around her. Lacey's husband was angry, upset and filled with self-loathing. The man had the idea that he 'failed' her during the night she died. Of course Jane felt the same way when he came home to see his family's still warm bodies brutally spilled of their blood.

The very haunting images could change a person's mind forever.

For Patrick Jane, he could never shut his eyes without the thoughts of his wife and child's battered bodies slumped on the queen-sized bed in the middle of the room, crimson blood seeping into the mattress. His child's empty eyes staring at him, almost _begging_ him to come with her as she made her journey to the land of the dead. A woman none other than Kristina Frye had said that she had not suffered, of course Jane knew that was definitely untrue. Yes, his daughter was not tortured like his wife, but she knew death was coming when she saw Red John standing over her bed with a knife, grabbing her by the hair and pulling her into the master bedroom. Her screams moving off the walls, bouncing back and forth alerting his sleeping wife as their grim fates grew closer when the seconds ticked by.

"_Daddy!" _he just knew that his daughter had cried for him, his little princess crying over and over for a saviour that she believed to be her father. When he saw her broken body, he also saw the drying tears on her cheeks. It did not take just a mentalist or 'psychic' to see that she had indeed suffered the day she died.

Opening his eyes, he briefly stared forward at a single pillar before him. A single hand drooped down, hesitantly touching the keys that were ready to turn over the engine and start the vehicle. Slowly he cocked his head to the side, imaging Lisbon standing before the pillar, Red John coming up behind her. This case was definitely different, the sadistic man was not being as careful as he normally would have been in general. Maybe this was _the case_ when Red John wanted to be caught and dealt with. Maybe this is it and it is time to face the man that took everything away from him.

And if Red John had wanted to be caught, Jane could bet Rigsby his entire life savings that the serial killer's fingerprints were indeed on that pillar.

Without much further ado, Jane pulled back, pushing the door to his prized Citroen open and stepped out. Pulling his hands into fists, he set himself towards that pillar, eyes continuing to focus intently on them. He soon stood before it, glancing it up and down to study it. He bent low at the knees, examining the cement standing tall. His eyes lit up, his mouth slowly quirking upwards.

He needed to get a fingerprinting team out here as soon as possible.

Jane reached into his suit jacket, pulling out his small black cell phone and flipped it open. It took him a few moments to navigate around the small piece of technology, especially with shaking fingers, but once it was ringing close to his ear, his heart began to move quickly in his chest. Cocking his head to the side, he slightly bounced on his toes, eagerly waiting for a pick-up.

When someone at the other end answered, his eyes lit up brightly.

* * *

He hovered over everyone in sight. He paced back and forth, fingers unconsciously playing with the slight stubble growing on his chin as he watched the analysts to their jobs. They still had not found any traces of Red John's blood; it was only a matter of time. CSI's were now pouring over the area and Jane felt that they were very incompetent for not doing so earlier. It would probably have been much easier right after Lisbon had shot him, the blood would still be drying on the cement and the flashlights would easily pick up the glint of a liquid.

But at least the labs had his fingerprints.

That's what they were doing now, running his prints through every single database they could think of. Civilian, criminal, law enforcement, you could name them all and easily get the answer correct. So far nothing had come up in any category, meaning besides being careful, Red John was also smart enough to evade giving the State of California his distinctive fingerprints. Now, of course, they had them now in the system under 'Red John', the wanted serial killer. It was some progress in comparison to a couple of hours ago, but it still was not enough to actually find the man and bring him down.

The real question was now, where was Red John?

What was he currently thinking?

Who did he plan on killing next, if he indeed had sought out his upcoming victim.

* * *

At a little past seven in the evening, Jane felt nothing but emotional exhaustion as he walked into the apartment of Teresa Lisbon. He gently set his keys down on her kitchen table and began to shrug out of his suit jacket. The jacket gave him some trouble, but he was eventually able to completely shrug himself out of it. Taking it into his hand, he softly moved over towards the recliner positioned in front of the HD TV. He softly smiled at the petite agent curled up, her head lolling to the side as her own exhaustion took its toll.

He reached out, brushing a loose strand of a dark rebellious wave from her cheek. His fingertips, barely moving over her skin, revelling in the feel of its softness. Jane's eyes slipped shut, wanting nothing but for this all to end, for him to finally get the closure he yearned for. After all these years he desired to sleep like a regular person and to feel loved by another. He wanted to feel the warmth of another human being without feeling the bubbling guilt of hurting her or his deceased wife. Slipping his eyes open again at the feeling of her shifting underneath him, he smiled softly, once more brushing away the same rebellious lock of hair behind her ear.

Leaning down, he softly pressed a kiss to the side of her head, "Good night, Teresa."

He turned from her, ready to move upstairs to use her bathroom, his bladder beginning to protest and scream at him as it was full and stretching to its limit. Once relieving himself, he moved from the bathroom and into her bedroom. The sunset shined through the half-open blinds in her bedroom window, allowing only selective strips of light to hit the unmade bed in the centre of the room. As he tried to move past, the bed, his eyes saw something in the middle of the bed.

An envelope.

Pushing his brow upwards, he bent down and deftly snatched up the paper. He unfolded it, hesitating before pulling the fragile paper out of its snug place. Slowly he pulled it out, soon holding both paper objects in his hands. He carefully set down the envelope and began to unfold the fragile paper, fingers barely skimming over the material.

His eyes widened as the scanned over the paper.

It seemed standard, nothing special about it other than the previous owner being Red John.

_**Dear Mr. Jane,**_

_**Keep up the good work and look forward to the 15**__**th**__** of March this upcoming spring. **_

The paper was unsigned, nothing to distinguish from where it originated, but as thought before, Patrick Jane already knew the writer.

His hands began to shake as he stared down at the paper. His right hand, the one containing the paper, began to curl upwards, wrinkling the fragile page without any hesitance. He shut his eyes and tossed his head back.

Pain.

Hurt.

Despair.

He remembered the mangled bodies of his wife and child. The dried tears on his precious baby girl's face as her still form lie brokenly on his bed. His wife, her lips cold and her body completely bare with her bloody toenails barely dried. Their blood seeping into the bed, threatening to run over the edge and drip onto the soft cream carpet below them.

"Jane?" his eyes opened as he looked over his shoulder towards the door, "Are you all right?" he watched Lisbon reach up and rub her sleep-ridden eyes.

He nodded, pushing the crinkled paper into his waistcoat pocket before turning around to face her, "Uh yeah," his eyes met her, "How are you feeling?"

Lisbon shook her head, "You've been crying," he wanted to deny it, but when he saw her standing before him, her fingertips barely grazing his cheek where the fresh tears resided, he felt his hands move to rest on her hips, "Are you all right?" she repeated, definitely wanting an answer this time around.

His eyes met with hers once more, almost asking her for her permission. Slowly he bent down, his mouth catching hers into a soft, languid kiss. He felt his eyes flutter softly as he hesitantly brought one of the hands resting on her hips upwards to cup the back of her neck, keeping her mouth on his. It does not escape him that he had felt her body become rigid when he cupped the back of her neck, the way her body had stiffened beneath his hands. The last hand on her hip move up, curving at her waist and resting more 'permanently' in that region. Jane moves his mouth from her lips, nuzzling behind her ear as he pressed a soft lingering kiss on the sensitive flesh. He felt her shiver in his arms as she arched into his body. Her hands moved up, her palms pressing onto his shoulders.

"_Teresa…"_ he murmured behind her ear, feeling her shiver once more against him.

Jane felt her hand curl around his chin, pulling his mouth from the sensitive flesh and back to her lips. They engaged in another soft languid kiss, their mouths barely brushing against one another's. One of her hands deftly slid down his chest, stopping at the buttons on his waistcoat. Shakily with a slight movement of her thumb and index finger, she felt the buttons give way. Jane rolled his shoulders back, allowing her to push the article of clothing off his body and onto the floor beneath their feet. Her hands then began to move down his chest, down his stomach and stopped at the top of his pants. Slowly she pulled his shirt from their place inside his pants. He groaned softly, pressing his lips back onto her soft ones more fervently and pushed his body more firmly into hers. She tossed her head back, exposing the soft creamy skin of her neck.

It all looked so beautiful the way the setting sun deliciously licked over it as it lowered over the California skyline.

Her hands moved up, catching in his curls tightly when he kissed the corner of her mouth. Lisbon opened her mouth, feeling his mouth cover hers again even more forceful than before. His hand caught the hem of her worn out jersey and began to pull it up over her hips, so he could slip his hands underneath and run his fingertips over the warm flesh of her back. She shifted against him, softly shivering, the movement awakening something he never expected to come alive for the remainder of his life.

The consequences were something they could deal with later.


	7. Spring Forward

**Happy Summer to Lizzybeth!**

**Leighanna-Well...here you find out!**

**Thank you to everyone who favourited and subscribed! You're the guys who helped bump up the hits past 1,000! -Free Hugs to You!-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or its characters. **

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Spring Forward~**

His eyes opened, blinking profusely at the moonlight shining through the window. Squeezing them shut and then open again, he let out a steady breath. He brought his hand to cover his closed eyes, softly massaging the skin of his temples. Removing his hand, he turned to face the part of the bed where the petite agent was supposedly sleeping. Sitting up, he glanced at the vacant space, pondering her whereabouts.

Had he just screwed up their friendship? Should he brush last night off like it was just a simple mistake?

Shutting his eyes shut once more, he was about to turn and lay back down onto the mattress when he heard a soft scuffling. He looked ahead of the foot of the bed, eyes landing on Lisbon's small figure as she paced before him, chewing on her thumbnail. She was thinking about the night before as well, wondering what to say to him and what he would say to her next. Truth to be told, he did not want to brush the night before off like it had been nothing or a one-night-stand of some sort. He felt like there was more to it, not just pent up sexual tension. If it was that he would have several bruises littering his body.

"Lisbon?" her movements stilled, her body slightly turning so her eyes could make contact with his, "Teresa?" he tried again, moving his own body to sit in a more upright position.

"Yes, Jane," she pulled her thumb away from her face, letting it slide down her sides to rest near her thigh.

"Good morning," he saw her glance over her shoulder towards the little clock radio on the end table. It technically was the morning, just very early.

"It's two-thirty."

He cocked his head to the side, "In the morning," she sighed, body slowly dipping at the knees as she crossed her arms over her chest, "Teresa, I want you to know that last night—"

"—was a mistake," she finished for him.

Jane shook his head, "No, it was not, Teresa," her eyes flashed back up to his, "I did not intend for last night to be some mere one-night-stand."

She tossed her head to the side, "Then what was it meant to be, Jane? Because you will not stay here if your sole intention was to use me!" that was not his intention. Truth to be told, he had no idea he would even catch her lips with his that night. Hell it was never the intention to have any type of romantic relationship with her and now he may have completely messed their friendship up by having a moment when he desired the warmth of another person of the opposite sex.

But he could not say anything. His mind would not allow him to think of anything to say back to her that could possibly 'make things better'. Jane began to feel nervous, sweat beads building up on his hairline as she gazed intently into his eyes as she waited for his response.

"I really have no idea," he saw her body turn rigid, her shoulder hunching upwards as her eyes slipped shut. His heart completely stopped seeing her lip barely quiver, how her mouth eventually parted letting out a breathy hitch in her breathing.

He regretted saying that.

"Teresa…"

Her eyes snapped open, seeing him reach for her with an extended arm. Lisbon slowly backed up, trying to get away from his grasp, "Get away from me," she held her hands up, ready to bat his fingers away from her wrists, "No Jane," the usage of his surname stung a bit. No, not a bit. A lot. He flinched, his heart barely stopped momentarily just by her tone alone.

He stood from the bed, wrapping the sheet around his hips, "Please, listen to me when I tell you that this was not a mistake!" he told her pleadingly, "Please will you," she shook her head, taking a larger step back from him until her spine collided with the wood door behind her. She reached down and began to fumble with the handle, twisting and turning it before she was able to quickly step forward, pull it open, and then quickly swing through the door frame.

He reached for her, his hand wrapping around her small wrist. She did not stop, her body kept resisting his grasp, twisting and turning, "Stop!" her voice was firm, not quivering or wavering like it had been a few moments before.

He shook his head, not wanting to give up.

"Get out."

Jane's movements stilled, his eyes widened. Slowly he loosened his grip on her before relinquishing his total grip on the petite woman. His eyes flickered downwards, casting at the soft beige carpet beneath their feet.

"Get out," she said once more, "Now Jane."

His eyes moved back up to hers, holding a steady glance. He mumbled a few words resembling 'okay' before he turned his back to her, ready to begin pulling on his discarded clothes.

It would be a long time before their relationship could ever be repaired.

* * *

**September**

During the first week and a half of September, Lisbon was nowhere to be seen. The team held their silence; their heads hanging low as they continued their duties. It was not until Jane went into Madeline Hightower's office to get confirmation that Lisbon was indeed out of town. She went back east, New Jersey to be more precise, to spend some quality time with one of her brothers. Which one, Jane did not know. He just decided he would give her the time that she needed to herself.

Later when she returned back to Sacramento, obviously feeling a bit lighter and maybe even happier, she held her silence with him. After hours he would see her in the kitchenette, drinking a cup of tea with Grace or speaking with Cho or Rigsby. They seemed happy that their boss appeared like she normally did when Red John was completely out of the picture. They all seemed unaffected and would not even cast a glance in Jane's direction. Probably because they were too engrossed into whatever they were talking about.

With Grace, it was usually healthy eating, yoga, and other forms of exercise to boost healthy living. Sometimes he even overheard them talking about different recipes they had both created over the years. Grace had been somewhat surprised that her boss was quite handy in the kitchen, despite what many people thought of her cooking skill.

With Cho it was a mixture of things. From sports to cases, from crime scenes to novels, their conversations had a slight personal yet professional aura to it. Sometimes he would see the senior agent smile at something Cho said, sometimes her whole demeanour would change, especially if they were talking about his girlfriend, Elise. Cho was thinking about maybe taking a step forward, but wanted to still wait a few months before popping 'the big question'.

With Rigsby the majority of her conversations were the exchange of certain take out places and restaurants nearby. The occasional sports news, mostly football and maybe even baseball, was the main point in their conversations. Sometimes Grace or Cho would come in and have some little debate over which sport was better. Lisbon preferred baseball but like football all right, Cho was more baseball, Rigsby loved football, and Grace only watched the sport because it reminded her of home.

And during their conversations, Jane felt left out.

**October**

Autumn. By October it was safe to say it was officially autumn.

The leaves on the trees were turning their vibrant green to an orangey-red shade. Everywhere you were to go had 'Halloween!' decorations or costumes for sale or on display. Even the CBI building had some decorations pasted onto the windows and a pumpkin on few of the agents' desks. Rigsby came in one morning, hands clutching a somewhat rather large pumpkin coated with warts. He smiled when he pushed his office supplies to the corner to place the oversized pumpkin on the edge of his desk. Grace had chuckled to herself, standing up and moving to study the ugly-yet-fun squash. Cho had only raised an eyebrow to it before even opening his mouth to speak.

"Yeah, it's great, just wait until it starts to rot there."

When Lisbon saw it, she rolled her eyes, but the smile upturning her lips was a dead give a way that she was neither bothered nor annoyed by it. Jane knew she was a sucker for any type of holiday, especially Halloween. He knew she enjoyed seeing the decorations in the craft stores and the kids running around tugging on the hands of their parents. It was all fun and refreshing in many ways. It brought back fond memories, sometimes even bringing a tear to Jane's eyes to remember how his daughter wanted to have everything planned out perfectly for every single holiday. Decorations had to be put out, large ones to impress her friends. Jane remembered putting them all out with her, but also remembered her distaste to have them removed.

His daughter would tell each and every decoration they were to put into the box 'goodbye, I'll see you next year,' and it did not matter which season it was. She would always say it before asking yet again if they could keep them out for _one more week_. Jane knew if they did that then the decorations would just never leave, but he wanted to grant her request. His wife would not allow that, however, not wanting her house to resemble a haunted mansion.

This year would once again lack any decorations for the Jane house in Malibu.

**November**

It was already November. The 'Thanksgiving Month' or month before the Christmas holidays. This was the month where the Halloween decorations went either at discount prices or were to be put away. Inside the CBI Headquarters, he would see people walking around with hot coffees or chocolates, buzzing around about how fat of a turkey they got for their family or what they planned to do for the few days off they were allowed. Even the bullpen was lit up with slight chatter of holiday plans.

Grace sat back in her rolling chair, hair tied loosely in a bun as she smiled brightly, talking with Cho and Rigsby about their plans. Cho was off to go with Elise to meet her family this year – and even ask her father's approval of marriage – and declined Grace and Rigsby's invitation. At first, Grace had planned to go back to Iowa for the traditional family dinner, but decided to keep that option open for Christmas instead. As Rigsby had no family in the Sacramento area, he and Grace decided to have a quiet dinner at her apartment building.

"Jane, would you like to come over for Thanksgiving?" she twirled slightly in her chair, obviously bubbly about the festivities.

He would be lying if he said he did not think about it. He really did before he told the red head rookie his reply, "No thank you Grace, but thank you for offering," her face fell slightly before perking up again to talk to Rigsby about how many courses she should offer.

Jane shook his head, moving away from the former couple towards the kitchenette. He was just waiting for the moment when the two of them were to walk in, obviously re-dating again. He knew it was going to happen again, he just wondered when. He knew Cho was betting 'after Thanksgiving' with Agent Brewster from narcotics.

In some ways November in general sparked some hard memories for him, but he did not want to ruin the rookie's fun. She was quite obviously enjoying herself chatting about what she wanted to do and what she had planned.

"Hi Jane," his eyes snapped up, surprised to see Lisbon bobbing a tea bag up and down in large bright green coffee mug, "Any plans?"

He shook his head, moving towards the cupboards, "No, you?" she shook her head this time as he rifled through its contents, eyeing his favourite tea flavour: Earl Grey.

"No," she replied, lifting the mug up to softly blow on it, "I'm just staying home."

"To watch old movies and eat ice cream?" he noticed that she smiled softly, he could see it in her eyes, "That actually sounds like a mighty pleasant idea," she moved the mug from her mouth, nodding.

"I guess I'll probably do that," she set it down to reach towards the refrigerator to pull out the milk and to hand it to him, "That or watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade," he smiled softly at her, knowing it must have been something she and her mother did when she was young. He could just imagine a younger Lisbon sitting eagerly on the couch, bobbing up and down happily exclaiming that the parade was starting.

"My wife loved the parade."

"So did my mother."

They moved in silence, Jane fixing his tea, Lisbon slowly drinking hers down.

**December**

Once Thanksgiving ended, most people began putting up their Christmas decorations. Inflatable snowmen and Santa's resided on lawns and roofs, happily swaying as the wind brushed up on them. At times Jane found the decorations humorous, knowing full well that if his daughter had been alive that she would have wanted one.

So in a way, that's what he was doing here in the middle of a hardware store with Cho and Rigsby next to him. The three of them moving up and down the 'holiday' section to look at the various decorations that they had plotted to put in front of the CBI. Of course, it was not any bit Cho's idea…he just decided to go along with it. When Jane had mentioned it to Rigsby however, the agent had shot it down calling it 'childish' before realising that Jane was serious. **Then** he decided he would go. Right now, Jane could swear that he and Rigsby were enjoying it way too much. Especially Rigsby.

Cho just stood there, his arms crossed over his chest as if he did not want to be associated with them.

Jane's eyes lit up when he grasped onto an inflatable Christmas carousel. From the box, it looked like little elves would sit on the reindeer and they would slowly rotate. He smiled brightly, showing it to Rigsby, who had his eyes on a giant snowman.

Of course, Jane thought the carousel would suit everything better in a way…a way he could not quite explain…but it would work. Plus he was the one buying it, so he had the overall saying as to what was to be put outside the CBI headquarters.

So on the way to the check out, all Jane got was an 'I don't know you' from Cho and slight mumbles from Rigsby. He just smiled brightly, quite exciting of what was to come.

* * *

After a couple of hours to set up the inflatable decoration, it finally stood up straight. Grace had come down to see what was done by Jane and Rigsby, she laughed and looked up at it feeling lighter. She was happier to be outside, despite being cold, than to be inside working on paperwork. Earlier she had just quirked her eyebrow and for some reason, doubted that Jane would even set up the inflatable decoration.

"It's cute," she smiled, "I think we should all stand in front of it and get a picture!"

They were not the only 'team' to want to get a picture. It was actually a first that anyone even set up a large Christmas decoration in front of a government building. Most people settled with maybe some shimmery gold or silver decorations to drape over windows and desks and set up Christmas trees that changed colours on a timer. But never were there any outdoor decorations. So as a first for everyone, everyone wanted a picture.

Even when Hightower came down to see what the commotion was could not scowl or be angry. She just smiled, looking over at Jane. He smiled back at her, knowing that it maybe lifted some of the stress of trying to prepare for the holiday season and wrap up work.

But everything was different when Lisbon came down. Her eyes widened as she studied the inflatable carousel. Rigsby pointed towards Jane muttering 'his idea' just in case Lisbon did not approve. Instead, she smiled, crossing her arms in hopes of keeping more warmth inside her body as she moved to look at it closer.

"Boss! Let's get a picture!" she looked up to see Grace handing a camera off to one of random agents. She moved to stand in front of the decoration, Rigsby coming up to stand next to her with Cho. Lisbon wanted to decline, not wanting to get her picture taken.

"Come on boss!"

Jane moved behind Lisbon, slightly nudging her forward, "Go on," he told her, "It's the holidays," he smiled at her, watching her smile back up at him. She nodded, heading over to stand near Cho. Jane stepped back, watching them all get ready.

"You should go stand with them," he turned, a bit surprised to have Hightower standing next to him, "You're part of the team," he nodded, slightly grateful that Hightower told him to do so. So, he went over to stand by Lisbon, wrapping his arm around her waist. He smiled brightly, liking the feeling of being close to another person.

And his smile grew brighter when he felt Lisbon wrap her arm around his waist.

**January **

For the most part, the holidays were over. Everything was seemingly turning back to normal. Decorations were being pulled down sadly, but the people inside the CBI building still talked about what they did over their holiday season.

As expected, Grace had a wonderful time back in her hometown of Iowa. She retuned feeling refreshed, relaxed, and completely enjoyed seeing her parents again. Jane knew she missed them every day she was in California, but she was living her dream to become an agent.

Cho got engaged on Christmas Eve, he and Elise so far had no wedding plans, but they hopefully wanted a summer or autumn ceremony. Jane felt happy for the deadpan agent, knowing that he probably felt ready to settle down and maybe start a family of his own with the young lawyer.

Rigsby spent time with his mother; it was really not all that special as one would think, but he figured she would want someone to be around during this holiday season. It was small with them, they only exchanged a small amount of gifts before having a small dinner together.

For Lisbon, she once again stayed in Sacramento alone, much like Thanksgiving. A few time Jane thought about joining her, but decided against it knowing she would probably ask for him to leave as what essentially happened last time he was in her apartment. Their relationship or friendship had still not repaired itself, they rarely spoke with each other after hours even though he still acted as her 'shadow' at crime scenes. It was so automatic that neither had thought about stopping it.

But January was also the month when Jane received another letter from_ him._ It had been almost five months since Jane had last received anything from Red John and was actually taken by surprise to see the letter in the middle of the master bedroom in his Malibu home.

_**I will see you soon**_

Was all it read, sending a chilling shiver down Jane's back. He remembered the other letter, the one given to him back in August. It told him the exact date to expect to meet Red John, or the date when Red John wanted his 'final showdown'. March the fifteenth. Sometimes he could not help but wonder what would happen after that. Would he go to jail for killing a serial killer? Or would he die trying? Would he just runaway from California and make a new identity for himself?

What would happen to the team when he was absent? He would miss so much if he were to go through with this. He would miss his team members finding 'that special someone' and having families of their own. In pictures he would only be known as 'that consultant' and by other agents and families, he would also be known as a hero.

A hero. He scoffed at that. In two months he would either be dead or preparing to go to jail. Neither sounded appealing, except maybe death. If all the things Grace had been telling him about God were true, though he doubted it, he would see his wife and child again. Then everyone else would steadily join him as the decades go by.

**February **

As spring was about to hit next month, he felt the temperatures steadily rise. He would still use the heater in his Citroën in the mornings and evenings, but by mid afternoon it was no longer needed. Jane really wished he could enjoy this weather like everyone else, as it when it hit the mid-afternoon it was absolutely gorgeous outside. But the haunting thoughts of coming face to face with Red John next month clouded the thoughts of enjoying anything in particular. Finally encountering the man who made his life a complete misery would only put restless and unpleasant thoughts on his mind. Nowadays he hardly slept, only pretending to do so on his brown leather couch to lower any thought of suspicion.

Sometimes he thought about telling Lisbon about the letter he had received the night they slept together, but decided it against it every time. He knew she would grow unhappy that he had not told her about the letter, more so even because he slept with her that night. He would admit, though, his emotions were indeed set off by receiving the letter, but he would refrain from telling her this. He knew she might eventually figure it out if she were to stumble upon his cold body after he had been missing for several hours to days.

Last week Lisbon had asked him if anything was bothering him. He had lied to her, telling her that he 'was fine'. Jane knew the petite senior agent did not believe him, she was too smart just to give up like that, especially when he said it in the tone he used. He could tell she wanted to say something, but she held her tongue, refusing to say what she obviously had wanted to. Instead she cast one glance in his direction before walking back into her little office. Again, he wished he could have told her right there and then. Not doing so made him feel like a coward, a person who felt like they should resolve every one of their problems alone, which in this case he knew that he should, but he already knew what she would think.

In one month, he would meet Red John. He would either die or go to jail. He wished that he would kill Red John, make sure he remembered the cries of his innocent daughter as he slaughtered her. He wanted Red John to remember the eyes of his wife when she gazed at the man who tortured her painfully slowly.

And because of his beloved wife and daughter he was going to do this.

**March…**

_**Review? C'mon, don't be shy. Please? :)**_


	8. Set Free

**Allanon9-2 Chapters ago Jane received a letter from Red John telling him to look for the 15th of March and then they will meet. So, this is the final chapter of the story, then there's one more part after this. Thank you for reading so far! :)**

**This is the final chapter before the epilogue, so I hope everyone enjoys it! Happy Summer Lizzybeth!**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Set Free~**

Jane drove in silence, eyes focused before him on the dark road ahead of him. He slightly tipped the wheel, letting the car go along with the curve as the headlights licked over the guardrail as he passed by. Jane stiffened at the sight of another pair of headlights coming in his direction and the sudden whoosh of movement as the larger SUV lugging a family of four moved past him. He knew he should have called the team, Cho at the very least, but this was something he was to do alone without the help of the CBI's finest.

He pulled into a single street, driving down until he halted the car in front of an all too familiar house. Before him stood tall _his house_, the very same one Red John violated and took the lives of what Jane held most precious in his heart. Sighing to himself, he cut the engine and pushed open the door, turning only to toss the keys back onto the white leather seat. He figured he would no longer need them anymore. He brought his hand up to his waistcoat pocket, sticking his index finger inside he lightly felt around for the set of house keys. Once getting them in his grip, he made his way up towards the front door, heart beating rapidly against his chest.

Shakily he was able to push the keys into the lock, turning it and hearing it click. Jane froze, putting more of his weight against the door as he momentarily slipped his eyes shut. Once he were to leave this house everything in his life would change, whether it would end or not. Opening his eyes, he breathed in then out before pushing open the door, hand still wrapped tight around the knob. Jane did not even bother removing the keys, as he would no longer have any need for them anymore just like his car keys. Stepping inside hesitantly, he peered around, half-expecting Red John to be around the corner, but the man was not. Jane took another step into the house, slowly closing the door behind him. He walked further, moving closer towards the steps. Pausing at the base, he looked them up and down. As he raised his hand, it quivered once it was placed on the railing. Closing his eyes again to breathe in and out.

_Broken, bloody bodies of his wife and child greeted him. Their eyes open, dried tears staining their pale cheeks. His wife's mouth still open in a silent scream, her hands fisted in the sheets._

Opening his eyes, he set up with a more determined force. Wanting, _needing_ to kill Red John. He swore that he would when presented the chance, and the chance was now.

Gripping the railing tighter, he started to pull himself up the staircase, ignoring the squeaking planks beneath his feet. His foot landed on the top step and without any hesitation, he moved forward, towards the door at the end of the hall. He knew Red John would stand in the room, waiting for him. Jane was all right with that, as long as he would have the revenge that he so desired.

His hand wrapped around the door, twisting and turning it to pop it open. He stepped into the room, eyes immediately landing on a crouched figure hovering over a frail body. His eyes widened, seeing a pale hand extending outward, blood covering the entire forearm and barely dripping off the fingertips. Slowly he followed the arm up, seeing the bare torso of a woman. He searched for her face, seeing a dark mass of hair covering the face, keeping the woman's identity a secret.

"Well the Ides of March have come," Jane went rigid, watching as the man ran his finger down the woman's jaw almost lovingly, "It's about time you got here, Mr. Jane," he stood up fully, turning to gaze into Jane's eyes.

Before him, a man easily in his forties stood. He was clean-shaven and had no facial blemishes. His brown hair thinning as he aged, his stature short and his shoulder broad. To anyone else this man would seem like any normal guy you could meet anywhere. There was nothing special nor distinct about this man, unless if you were to notice that he was a sadistic serial killer.

Jane flexed his fingers into his palm, wanting none other than to tear into the man, "Why don't we get this over with," he tried to keep his tone calm.

"Why Mr. Jane, are you not curious at all as to who our guest is?" this was the first time Jane noticed the bloody knife in the man's hand, "She's really quite lovely, it's a shame that if she survives that her scars would be so," he paused, shifting his stance, "Ugly."

Red John took a step to the side, giving Jane access to the woman curled for the most part in a fetal position. Jane then looked at the woman again…oh no. Oh God no!

He hurried towards her pale body, kneeling down into the blood soaked carpet to grasp her by the shoulders and with one hand brush the hair from her face.

God no.

Lisbon. His Lisbon, lying here broken and bare, covered in her own blood.

"Red is such a beautiful colour on her, is it not?" Jane looked over his shoulder, glancing at the sadistic man standing only a few feet away, "I took her in her sleep last night, and oh did she not expect it!" the man took a few steps, "She really is most beautiful in her sleep," he took a step closer, "So…vulnerable."

Jane shot up, "What are you going to do here, Mr. Jane? You come here unarmed and even think that you can beat me? I would have at least thought of you to bring a weapon of some sort. This is almost not worth anything to me! It will all be too easy!"

He had heard enough. There was no fear, only anger and adrenaline pumping through his veins. Avenging the deaths of his wife and child meant everything to him, as did making sure Lisbon were to stay alive. So instead of listening further to any of Red John's taunts, he pushed himself forward, aiming for grabbing onto the killer's wrist and pressing down on the pressure point to make him release the knife. Red John had anticipated his movements, moving himself swiftly out of the way and bringing the blade down on Jane's upper arm.

Jane refused to cry out to acknowledge the pain that Red John had just inflicted upon him. It was just a mere flesh wound and a whole hell of a lot less painful than what his family and Lisbon had received. Instead he pulled himself together, knowing Red John would know that he would probably try again for the same spot, ergo inflicting more pain and lessening a chance of him killing the man before him. Jane pulled his hands into fists and moved towards Red John, he would aim low, then high. It would have to be enough to – at the moment – discombobulate the man before him. He made himself look to aim for the knife again, but he made a quick sidestep away from the blade again and put his leg out to deliver a hard kick to Red John's shin. The man's eyes widened as he slightly lost his balance, but before he could regain it, Jane brought his fist up to collide right into the killer's nose. Breaking it.

Red John stumbled backward, hand flying up to his nose to examine the damage, "I guess I underestimated you," he then decided to move forward, barring the knife in his hand and ready to pierce Jane's stomach. The consultant moved out of his way, then Red John tried to once more move his arm towards Jane.

The blond man again avoided the serial killer, moving around him to stand behind quickly. He had one shot at this. His hands shot out, gripping the ends of his coat and pulling them up and draping the ends over his head. Hard. Red John's hand flew backwards, the hilt of the knife ready to collide with Jane's abdomen. Jane anticipated and took the blow, a slight 'oomf' leaving his mouth as he kept the coat over Red John's head.

Then another idea came to mind.

Jane moved forward quickly, pushing the serial killer forward and towards the wall. As he was about to push Red John into the wall, he delivered another blow to Jane's abdomen. Jane winced, still clutching onto Red John but loosening his grip only slightly. Two seconds afterwards, he clutched it tighter and shoved Red John into the wall, the killer not expecting it and his knife going right through the wall, hopefully getting stuck.

The consultant stepped back, watching as Red John tried to clumsily pull the knife from the wall and not succeeding. Then Jane looked down, his eyes catching onto the end of a gun sticking out of a compartment of the coat. Reaching forward, he grasped onto it tightly as Red John was able to completely yank the knife from the wall, leaving a trail of plaster behind him. The serial killer pulled back, ready to strike Jane once more.

But Jane pulled the trigger first.

Once

Twice

Two shots hitting Red John squarely in the abdomen. No blood appeared from the wounds, raising Jane's suspicion that Red John must be wearing Kevlar underneath his clothing.

As Red John recovered slightly, Jane raised the gun, aimed, and shot off another round hitting the sadistic man right in the throat. His blood began to rapidly spill out, pouring down his neck and down his dark clothes. Small droplets hit the ground, splattering against the carpet displaying Red John's defeat. Jane pulled back, eyes open wide, mouth parting slightly. His heart beat quickly, pounding violently against his chest. He slowly lowered the weapon, seeing the man slide down the wall, clutching at his throat. Red John began to cough, blood bubbling out of the corners of his mouth as a sickening smile was brought to his face. Jane fought the uneasy feeling when he noticed the serial killer's teeth were now stained red.

Then he fell.

Jane took a step back, the gun falling to the floor.

"Ja-a-jane?" he turned, hearing a frail voice behind him. Looking back he saw the nearly broken body of Teresa Lisbon, her hand outstretched towards him as she desperately reached for him, "H-help M-m-me."

Without any hesitation, he moved towards Lisbon, crouching down on the ground next to her to check over her bloody body. She had knife wounds all over her abdomen, mostly shallow, but otherwise very painful except for the one single deep one on her left side below her ribs. Her hand shakily moved to be placed over it, his hand was placed over his.

"T-teresa, you're going to be okay," with his other hand, he reached into his jacket to pull out his cell phone, ready to call an ambulance, "You're going to be okay, just stay with me!" he saw her eyes flutter, almost like they were about ready to close, "Teresa!" he saw her eyes flutter one last time before her head lolled to the side. He threw his cell phone down, reaching forward to grasp her face in his hands.

"Jane!" his paused, hearing the familiar voice of Cho behind him, "Jane are you in hear?"

Tossing his head over his shoulder he did the only thing he could, "In here! Upstairs!" he shouted, "Cho call an ambulance!"

The door behind him opened, and he knew it was Cho behind him. He did not want to turn and face him, he wanted to keep his eyes on Lisbon's failing body as he tried his best to keep pressure on her open wounds. He heard Cho's voice behind him, letting him know that the man was indeed calling an ambulance, voice now sounding frantic.

Lisbon's eyes barely opened, focusing intently on Jane's face. Her lips parted as she squeezed her eyes shut again. Her hand was slowly slipping from its place on her side. He grasped onto it tighter, holding it in place as he pressed down on the wound. Her eyes opened again and he saw only the fear, no pain, no agony, just fear.

* * *

It took six stitches to close up the wound he had on his upper arm. The doctor kept on stealing glances at him, wondering how he had gotten the wound and why his front was completely covered in blood. Well, she had not seen the weak body of senior agent Teresa Lisbon get wheeled into trauma when he first arrived. If she were to see Lisbon, then the young doctor might have some idea as to why he was covered in so much blood.

They were both lucky, if Cho had not asked Grace to run a search on Lisbon's cell phone – only to discover that it was off – then Jane's, then they would not have found them. If Cho had not come, then Lisbon would have surely died in Jane's arms. Jane would always be grateful that the straightforward agent had come to their aid during that time, and he would need to be sure to remind Elise that Cho was a lifesaver. She needed to the know the full story, or the less gory parts to tell the future Cho generations, not that Cho had any ideas of future mini versions of him running around.

The very thought brought a smile to Jane's face.

Smiling to himself, he leaned further into the hospital chair he was currently seated in. What a week these past few days have been. It was now 19th of March, four days after Red John's death. Admittedly he felt better about it, but he did not like waiting for Lisbon to get out of the little bathroom as she changed into a fresh set of clothes he brought for her. Yes, he knew that due to her injuries and surgery that her movements would appear sluggish and everyday tasks could not be completed as quickly as prior to the 15th of March, but she had already been in there for ten minutes.

"Lisbon?" he called out, "You all right?"

He heard a quick but muffled 'fine!' behind the closed door and smiled slightly. Upon arrival they needed to do an open splenectomy, by doing this they had to make a larger incision in order to remove the spleen.

Soon the door opened and Jane saw Lisbon slowly move out, wearing the oversized jersey he was sure to bring and a pair of sweat pants. He had wanted her to dress comfortably and not feel pressured about dressing in her usual work attire. After surgery, her work attire would not be comfortable. She would not have to wear said articles of clothing for another six weeks as she were to remain on bedrest.

"Are you ready?" she nodded.

"Yes," she cleared her throat, reaching for her duffel bag. Jane stopped her, "What?" he shook his head smiling, "Oh come on, you have a hurt arm!"

"My left arm is fine," he picked up the bag and tossed it over his shoulder, "Besides, you need to be in a wheelchair when you leave," he gestured towards the wheelchair by the bed.

She rolled her eyes and began to slowly move towards the wheelchair. Without making anymore sounds of disproval, she slowly sat herself down in the chair, bracing herself on the armrests. A soft grunt left her lips as she grit her teeth.

"When we get to the car would you like any pain medication?" she shook her head.

Looking up at him, "I just want to go home," and with that, he wrapped his hands around the handles and began to push her through the doors. He felt…happier and much lighter.

He was able to avenge the deaths of his wife and daughter, save Lisbon, and make it out alive without having to go to jail. Sure this week had been hell but it was slowly becoming better now that Red John was out of the picture. He felt free, like he had been hoping for the day to be set free from his cage and now he no longer had to worry about Red John taunting him or trying to hurt anyone he cared about.

**He was free.**

**_Reviews really do make a person get all giddy and start jumping up and down. I'm serious, it's happened before._**


	9. Epilogue

**allanon9- I'm glad that you have liked it! Enjoy the epilogue! **

**Have a Happy Summer Lizzybeth! :)**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**Save Me From the Nothing I've Become**

**~Epilogue~**

It was August, five months after Red John had been found, killed, and nearly killed Lisbon. During those five months several things had changed within the team. The first thing of course, had to be the media surrounding the serious crimes unit, especially Lisbon's team. Reporters acting as paparazzi swarmed around the agents, asking for a few words or a picture for a little section in the newspaper. Red John's capture had all ready made front page news and the team no longer desired to be apart of the media any longer. The second thing had to be Grace and Rigsby's relationship. Only a week after Red John's death and they were back together again, determined to make this work and not let their jobs and Hightower get in the way again. The third thing had to be Jane's relationship with Lisbon. Ever since she had departed from the hospital, Jane had been at her side ever since. Their newly repaired friendship slowly began to blossom into something else entirely, slowly taking on a more romantic side around late-April to early-May. By July, several agents were slapping down one hundred dollar bills to the designated winners of the bets.

And so much more has changed.

That's where Jane was now, standing outside a church in a tuxedo with his hands clasped in front of his body. He rolled back and forth from his heels to his toes. He was alone outside, waiting for Lisbon and Grace. Both women told him to go ahead to the church with Cho and Rigsby, but now he feared they might have gotten lost. Sure Grace had an excellent sense of direction, but he worried about Lisbon's directional skills. He still found himself smiling about that case Los Angeles…and he better not get into that.

Smiling once more, he shook his head and looked up just in time to see the blue Mustang pull around the corner. His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth turned up higher as he unclasped his hands and started to make his descent down the stairs just as the Mustang pulled into the parking lot. They pulled into the nearest free spot and he heard the engine die down. He continued to make his way as Grace stepped out of the passenger seat, reaching up to straighten out her freshly curled red hair.

"My you look lovely," he smiled at the red head. She tossed him a smile and smoothed down her black knee-length dress. It was nice, black, strapless, and held onto her frame wonderfully. No doubt Rigsby would love seeing her in it.

She smiled brightly, "Thanks Jane," clutching onto her coin purse, she took a few steps forward, looking over her shoulder in Lisbon's direction.

He followed her eyes, his eyes widening at the sight of seeing Lisbon in that new dress she bought a few weeks ago. Like Grace's, it was strapless and came down above the knees. The only difference was that it was white except for the black fabric of a bow wrapped around her waist. It emphasized her upper body but hung loosely below the hips.

"You look beautiful," he moved towards, her, wrapping an arm around her waist and bending down to press a chaste kiss on her cheek, "Very lovely dress," he led her forward, coming up next to Grace who started forward along with them, "We need to hurry, the wedding will start pretty soon and I'm sure we will not want to miss Cho and Elise's big day," he beamed.

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful. Cho stood at the altar, waiting for Elise to come down in her traditional floor-length white dress, her bridesmaids before her in strapless brightly coloured gowns. Rigsby stood beside Cho, as his best man. The large agent continued to fidget at first due to discomfort the shoes he wore caused him. Afterwards, he had received a lot of criticism from Grace, who had told him to actually try on the shoes he was preparing to purchase. Jane smiled at their bickering and wondered when _they _would 'tie the knot' just as Cho and Elise had just done. He knew this time Hightower would not try to get in the way, even with them broken up those months ago they still harboured strong feelings for each other that if one were to get injured or hurt on the job, they would still act as if they were very much in love. So, Hightower looked the other way with them and decided she would let them slide unless she saw them romancing in the office.

Jane moved from his table to stand near Lisbon, who was balancing a plate with her appetizer delicately placed upon it. He lightly tapped her shoulder, effectively getting her attention.

"What, Jane," she tried not to sound too agitated, but she was slightly hungry and wanted to eat something, as she skipped breakfast, "I'm busy."

"Can I talk to you outside for a moment?" she quirked up an eyebrow, "It's kind of urgent and I would really appreciate it if we do so right now," he pointed towards the open French doors behind them. She nodded, clutching onto the plate with both hands and moved back towards their table to set it down. Wordlessly she came in step with him towards the doors.

Once outside, he put his arm around her waist and steered her to stand by the railing of the balcony, "What is it that can't wait?"

"Thank you."'

She raised an eyebrow again, hands moving to grip onto the railing, "For what?"

"You saved me," she moved away from him, wanting to examine his face, "Even though it was unintentional, I probably would have died if I were alone with Red John, even though I technically was. I would not have fought as hard if you weren't there."

She nodded, "No problem."

"No, I mean it. Seeing you there made me think for a few moments that I might not ever see you again, just as if I were to die or go to jail," she stiffened, "You saved me from becoming a monster, I don't know what I would have done without you there. Even just thinking of you makes me feel sane," she stayed quiet, looking down at her hands briefly before standing up straight, looking him in the eye.

She moved forward and brushed her lips against his, "No problem," then she applied more pressure, "I love you," his eyes had widened. Over the past five months he was the only one who exchanged those words. She never did, afraid to break her own heart into welcoming another human being.

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. She saved him from going insane, going to jail in some ways, and even dying. Fate had a funny way with playing with them, but as they had been brought together, they decided to make peace with the destiny laid out for them.

"Does this mean we're the next soon-to-be-married couple?"

She shook her head against his chest, "No, I'm sure that will be Van Pelt or Rigsby," he chuckled, running his hands up and down her back, "Besides, isn't Rigsby planning on proposing soon?"

He nodded, "Yes, probably this weekend."

She pulled away from him to look into his eyes, "If you were to ask me in a few months, I wouldn't be able to say no," she smirked, watching the corners of his mouth upturn into a smile as he looked up into the sky.

He would have to take her up on that hint, he was thinking of maybe asking during the Thanksgiving holidays when she was planning on going back east to see her brother this year. It would give him enough time to meet her family and ask her hand in marriage. He was sure they would approve of him, especially because he was sure they were fond of him for saving their older sister's life a few months ago. If that did not prove he was ready to love her again, then he did not know what would prove that.

**The End**

******So, yes, this story has come to an end. I have been thinking about doing a little sequel (I am actually working on a possible one right now) but I may turn around and not finish or post. So far I have a prologue and some of the 1st chapter written. But I also have to update my 'Immortals' (which I am also working on) and start writing my sequel to 'Titanic' (Hopefully tonight I can start). **

******I hope everyone liked it and HAPPY SUMMER LIZZYBETH! :)**


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